He flashed her an annoyed glare. “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”
Brela rolled her eyes. “I know, but I can’t tell youwhyI survived. I’m guessing you don’t know either.”
“No,” he said, leaning back. “But if it’s following you, that’s not a good sign.”
Once again, she’d be leaving the desert with more questions.
She grumbled. “You’re still just as useless as you were eight years ago.”
He snapped his fangs at her with a grin. “And that brazen personality is exactly what attracted me to you in the first place. You were the first creature to ever challenge me, and then you raised a blade to the Crown Prince and didn’t care about the consequences. I wanted you in that moment. It’s why I got Emril to shove you into the pit to compete.”
She lifted an eyebrow. “I thought you said mating would never work between us?”
“You think I’d care about producing an heir when I could have someone like you on the throne beside me?” He winked. “No one in that pit deserved a crown, but you,ov czira? You are royalty.”
She gagged and stuck her tongue out.
Oni laughed. “You doubt my judgement? For someone with so many titles, I did not expect you’d deny the one most fitting. I will never find a Queen like you.”
“You’re still young. Give it a few hundred years,” she replied with a smirk.
“Pft, go sleep with your not-mate before someone smells his fire or the celvusa finds you.” Brela rolled her eyes and turned, but paused as Oni grabbed her hand and whispered, “Don’t hide the truth from me when I know you understand your feelings. Why?”
She knew what he really asked.
Why play with fire when you know it will burn you in the end?
“Because some small part of me still hopes he’ll change, even though I know he won’t. And I know that makes me selfish, but I’ve lived every day thinking it would be my last, so I want to experience this before it really is my last.” She sighed. “If I can somehow gethimto change, maybe there’s hope for others one day.”
Oni pressed a smooth kiss to her cheek. “That,ov czira, is exactly why I believed you to be royalty in the first place.”
* * *
Oni scannedher notebook but didn’t find anything useful that he could use for the wall. He only gave her a knowing look about the drawings and kept his mouth shut about what they meant. Thankfully he didn’t say anything more about her non-gods-blessed magic being stronger before he swirled off in the wind. Very few of the older sand sprites had been in contact with the shadow-kind to offer insight, but he promised to ask around.
Brela didn’t go back to the fire. She couldn’t stomach the subtle shake of her head that denied her friends’ offer to walk with her. She absolutely hated the sorrow-filled look Lenni gave her before diving into another animated story to distract Serill.
She didn’t allow herself to look at Cason.
Gods, maybe it would just be easier to tell him about her magic right here and now while she had the protection. Except it would either result in her death or his and Serill’s, and she had no desire to kill a prince who had offered his kindness to her people. Even if she let them live to run back to Severina, the king would return with an army to wipe her out.
The cost would always be her freedom.
Maybe she should have taken Oni up on his offer to whisk her away on the wind. He’d protect her from whatever came out of the wall. He’d keep her hidden from the soldiers and from Ovir.
The desert wasn’t so bad, right? She could live the rest of her miserable life sweating and feeding lumps of meat to Dulphi and Atuphe. She could sit next to Oni and tease him for letting her near a sacred crystal spear with a clear line of sight to the throne that had just declared she’d become his wife.
She could stomach being his qu— his quee—
Brela gagged.
Nope. No, she couldn’t do it. And she couldn’t leave her friends to face Ovir’s punishment for her, because Farrah wouldnotappreciate living in the Crystal Desert for the rest of her life.
Brela hadn’t noticed where she was going, but clearly her legs wanted her out of the Wilds. Maybe just away from the swirling sands of whichever sprites were still awake at this hour.
She groaned and stared up at Ceirdephal’s massive jaw and teeth. “You know, Ceirde, life somehow seemed a lot more simple when I was swimming in your intestines.”
The vaarasuxa’s bones didn’t reply.
