His home was dark, a lantern casting light across their faces and the surrounding floor, and not much else. She also realized he wasonlywearing his trousers. The sight of his bare chest drew her attention like moths to a flame. She had felt those muscles around her, seen the way he moved with his sword.
His forging tattoo was on display, and her eyes were as drawn to it as the dakii to their prey. The purple-gray symbols criss-crossed his torso like chains. Only now that she’d been through her own forging could she appreciate what his tattoos meant. Her eyes traced the marks, his pain, his strength. Gods he was magnificent.
She’d been the one nearly undressed last time she was in his kitchen, and she still remembered the way his hands had grazed her sides as he bandaged her wounds. The way his mouth had felt against hers only a few days ago. An unwelcome feeling curled deep inside her.
With a slight squeak, Iryana looked away.
“What went wrong?”
“What?” Iryana frowned, looking back into his tired blue eyes. She forced herself to focus.
“You said you’d explain why Karvek is still a problem. Why your plan failed.” His voice was hard, cold. And he was avoiding eye contact now. “Not that you explained the plan to me in the first place, but something clearly went wrong.”
“Oh.” It felt so long ago that she’d run into him, but it had only been yesterday.
She owed him an explanation.
“I laid a trap for him,” she admitted. “To meet with the mole. My sister was going to kill him, but she failed. And Karvek almost killed her instead.”
“I’m sorry. Is she—” His eyes flickered to hers. “Is she okay?”
“Yeah, she’s recovering.” She sighed. “It was a poor plan, though; we need to think bigger if we truly want to stop him.”
“It was certainly a foolish and dangerous plan that I would have advised you against.”
Iryana flinched, but he was right. If she had talked it over with him, maybe they could have come up with something better sooner. But it was done. And she could only move forward.
An awkward silence stretched between them.
“Iryana,” he sighed. “Why are you here?” Pain laced through his voice, and it ripped at Iryana’s heart.
“I should have let you help.” She rubbed her arms, having to look away. “I should have talked to you. I should have done a lot of things.”
He deserved to know why.This is never going to happen. I don’t want it to.That’s what she’d told him, and it was a lie.
“There are things I’ve believed about myself for a very long time,” she said softly. “And I won’t pretend that I’ve moved past them. But I know I’ve been wrong about a lot. That there are people in the world I can trust. That it is worth trusting some people.”
She sighed. Gods, why couldn’t she find the right words? “I know I’ve been pushing everyone away, and that it’s made things harder. And that I have hurt the people who were just trying to help me.” She peeked at Pyetar, who was staring at her intensely now. “I’ve hurt you, and I never wanted to. I was—I was afraid of hoping. Thought it would be better to never have you than to lose you. I don’t know what I’m asking for, what I’m offering. Don’t know if you will ever forgive me. I won’t ask you to. But I am sorry.”
She closed her eyes and held her breath while she waited. There were so many things she wished for, especially where Pyetar was concerned. But she couldn’t let herself dwell on those things.
“I don’t know if—” he cleared his throat. “I’ll think on what you’ve said. And I appreciate your words.”
Disappointment tore through her. She’d known she pushed him too far, that he wouldn’t be able to forgive her just like that. She’d broken his heart. He might never forgive her, might never let himself feel something for her again. But they still needed to stop his brother.
“We have the same goal right now, Pyetar.” She forced herself to face him, to be brave. “And I have a plan, but I need help.”
“You mean you needmyhelp?” There was a hint of surprise in the way his face opened up.
“The 18th needsyou, Pyetar. My family needs me, and they need you.” His place was here, and hers wasn’t. “We need to take on Karvek before he gets any stronger, take control from him and his followers entirely.”
“You know that’s what I want. But nothing I’ve tried has been helping…”
“You have a relationship with the other generals, don’t you?” She hoped she wasn’t wrong. “You implied you talked to the King Commander… when he refused to help, you went to the other generals next, right?”
He narrowed his eyes slightly. “Yes, I’ve known some of them for a long time.”
Relief. She hadn’t miscalculated then. They had the in they’d need.
