“We should hold off on the ceremony until after we deal with the 18th and Karvek,” Iryana suggested, having waited until the representative left.
The First narrowed her eyes.
“Just in case,” Iryana rushed to add. There would be risk, and the clan didn’t have room for much more. “So that if something happens, the Kleesolds don’t have to wait for a fourth.”
“That’s practical,” the First finally agreed, though her expression was grim.
Iryana hesitated for a moment before reaching over and squeezing the First’s hand.
Her grandmother squeezed back. “What else?”
She was worried, but Iryana couldn’t help the lightness she felt. The hope. Iryana still had to reckon with the choices she’d made and hope it wasn’t too late. But she had to try.
It was time to return to the fortress.
In a stroke of luck, she ran into Pyetar first.
He didn’t notice her walking up behind him where he stood overlooking the training yard from the raised pathway along the barrack wall. If she had no other motive, she would have sneaked past. She wasn’treadyto face him yet.
I hear you clearly now,he’d said coldly. Then he had turned away from her, done with her.
But she needed to know what she was walking into when she went to find Karvek. If he already knew she had abandoned her team… She could imagine him shoving her against the wall, hand tight on her throat. Squeezing until she spasmed and drew still. Until everything went dark. Until she let her family down again.
“Captain,” she said quietly, coming to stand beside him.
He jerked to look at her, soft blue eyes wide. His body sagged as if laundry unclipped from the line. “Iryana?”
There were dark smudges under his eyes; he should have looked awful, but it just made his eyes brighter. He was so handsome, she wished she had let herself appreciate that more.
This is never going to happen. I don’t want it to.That’s what she’d told him. After he’d bared his heart, wanted to run away from this mess with her.
Gods, she was such an idiot.
“Iryana?” he repeated, his voice harder.
“Are Sergeant Vaneshta and Sena Lidishta back from our mission yet?”
His eyes shuttered and turned from her slightly. “The one you went on with them?” He at least kept his voice soft so it wouldn’t be heard over the cracking of practice staves and slide of feet against the dirt.
“Yes.”
“Yes, they returned a little bit ago.” Pyetar turned further away from her.
“Have they said anything?”
He swallowed. “Anything like what?”
She chewed on her bottom lip. “Just… anything out of the usual.”
“No.”
She nearly cheered with relief. There was a chance then.
But then she noticed the way his hands were clutching the railing, the way his jaw clenched like he couldn’t wait for her to leave. He may never forgive her. That she could accept responsibility for. Not because there was something wrong with her, but because she’d pushed him away too many times.
“I see my brother is still a problem.” Pyetar’s voice was rough and cold all at the same time.
“Yes.” She gathered her courage. “I need you to know I’m sorry for so many things. I want to explain, and I will soon. But I have to go talk to him.”
