The soldiers knew how to fight together; even the dakii knew how to fight together. One soldier, one dakya, or one Kleesold was nothing compared to a team.
Hadima’s lips curved up. “We aren’t meant to do things alone—guardian clans are strong because we have each other.”
But fear had controlled her life for years.
“How do I just—get rid of the fear?”
Hadima was quiet for a moment, her hand rubbing over Iryana’s back like she used to do when Iryana was little.
“I don’t think you have to get rid of the fear.” She said slowly. “Not at first, not entirely. I think that will take time.”
“So what do I do?”
“Try to trust us, trust yourself.” Hadima pressed a kiss to the top of Iryana’s head. “Ask yourself what you would do if you weren’t afraid. And then do it.”
It sounded so simple.
“The general knows we tried to kill him.” Hadima pointed out. “He’ll want revenge. And we need to do something that will show the duchess that we can gain control of our post. Of the dakii, of the brigade. That we can handle all of it.”
The magnitude of their problems crashed down on her again.
“If you weren’t afraid,” she said quietly. “If you trusted us to stand with you, what would you do?”
Iryana stared at her sister. At the face that looked so much like their mother’s.
It wasn’t her against her family, against the world. And with the dakii and the war Karvek wanted to fight, it couldn’t be her against the brigades either. They were stronger together—would all be stronger together. The duchess wouldn’t be able to deny that strength.
Plans began clicking together. Not one big revelation, but dozens of tiny ideas that she’d dismissed before, not falling into place. A path forward—bold and frightening, but possible.
“I don’t know if we can do it,” Iryana admitted. “It might be too late.”
“We’re guardians.” Hadima smiled, weak but sure. “We will try anyway.”
Try, she could do that.
Iryana nodded, then hesitated. “Does grandmother really believe I should be the Third? Even if there were another option?”
“We all do.”
“Even after everything?”
“Becauseof everything.”
Something inside Iryana, something that had been frozen for a long time, began to thaw. She felt the shape of herself again, like she was finally recognizable. She was cracked, yes. Broken, even. But stillher. Capable of being whole again.
“I love you, Hadima.”
“I love you too. Always.”
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Iryana woke up late in the morning feeling calmer than she ever had. She lay tucked on the very edge of her sister’s bed, her arm at a funny angle and her head barely on the pillow. Though her body was stiff and aching, her sister was beside her.
Turning her head, she watched Hadima. The last time they’d slept together had been right after their father’s injury. So much had changed, so much had come between them, but they’d found their way together again.
Moving slowly so as to not wake Hadima up, Iryana scooted out of the bed. When her leg hit the floor, she couldn’t stop the soft cry of pain from escaping her lips.
Fuck, she had forgotten about her leg.
