She hurried to obey, suddenly hyperaware of her loose braid, still laced with leaves and dirt, and how helpless she looked. The left side of her chest was bandaged thickly to cover the seeping wounds below her collarbone, with that arm in a sling and tied to her waist to keep her from disrupting the healing. The medic had called herfidgety.
She tried not to fidget now beneath Karvek’s intense stare.
And worse than all that, she feltraw. Exposed. Battered on the inside even more than the outside.
Karvek patted the couch beside him. “Sit.”
Iryana crossed the room and lowered herself stiffly beside him, careful not to jostle her injury.
“I just heard the debrief.” His tone was unreadable. “I wanted to see how you’re doing.”
She blinked in surprise.
“I’ll be fine in a few days,” she said softly. “Nothing to worry about.”
“You were impressive.” He paused. “Though my brother didn’t seem to think so.”
Her breath caught.
Why did you come back? You shouldn’t have.That’s what Pyetar had said.
Iryana felt entirely untethered, like her loose hold on her place in the world was slipping from her grasp. She suddenly, desperately, needed to know that Karvek would truly not turn away from the pain inside her.
“I think he was… upset with my recklessness. Sergeant Vaneshta was too,” she muttered, the ache in her ribs flaring. “They almost seemed upset Ididn’tfail.”
“They’re all fools,” Karvek said flatly. “So worried about approval and not upstaging each other.” He leaned closer, voice low. “You don’t need their praise. Their approval.”
She swallowed. That was what he’d said before—what had helped her get through those first months.
But it was exhausting pretending she didn’t care. Pretending she was fine.
“I try,” she said. “But it’s like I’m broken and everyone can tell. But I can’t hide it or let them in without making it worse.”
Karvek stilled. “Your pain isn’t a flaw, Iryana. It’s clarity. So you can see how the world works.”
She turned to him, startled.
“You can’t get rid of the pain without falling back into ignorance. Embrace it. You’re not weak.”
Her throat tightened.
“I barricaded it,” she whispered. “The pain. Like it’s like this festering wound that won’t heal, and I need to keep everyone away from it. I don’t know how else to live with it.”
Karvek tilted his head, considering her. Gaze sharp as a metal-forged blade. “Then don’t justlivewith it. Use it.Cutwith it.”
She could only stare.
“You are better for it,” he continued.
A twisted kind of comfort coiled through her chest. He wasn’t telling her to heal, to change. To be better. He was telling her she was enough already, broken as she was. That it was a weapon she could use to be stronger.
She’d seen Karvekkillpeople. Knew he planned to wage war against the other brigades. Yet somehow, he was the only person who could accept her, jagged edges and all.
“Do you want me to take you off your team?” he asked casually. “You don’t belong with them. I can give you solo work, something worthy of your talents.”
Her heart beat too fast.
The thought was tempting. No more sitting with the team in the hall for dinner. No more awkward marches through the woods. No more of Pyetar’s judgment. But… something inside her resisted.
