“It doesn’t work like that.”
“Maybe not, but I wouldn’t have let you be alone. No one should grow up alone.”
“I didn’t. I had my parents and Grandma.”
“That’s not what I meant, and you know it. You had no friends. Things could have been so different for you. You might have accepted yourself more. Who you are.”
“I’m a big believer in destiny and fate. My life is as it should have been.”
“Even though you’ve suffered.”
“Especially because I have. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have met you, and I wouldn’t now be realising that I can have more. I can be who I want to be. You have shown me that what I feel in here isn’t wrong.”
I hadn’t planned on this admission, and I hadn’t meant to cry, but there we were.
“Harvey…”
“Let me finish. Please.”
I stood before him, not a changed man, but a man who was trying to do better. To be better.
“These past two weeks have been full of highs and lows, and just when I reckoned it’d all go to shit and I’d be back in the bathroom with a blade in my hand, I realised I wasn’t that person anymore. I’m not saying I’ll always feel this way, but right now, I want to do this.”
Taking courage by the balls, I lifted my lips to his and prayed he wouldn’t turn me down.
He cradled my face, his soft lips covering mine.
I moaned into his mouth. I’d never done this before, but it was so fucking good. He didn’t force it, just pressed his lips against my willing mouth. I took a step towards him and pressed my hips against his. Even from this brief contact, my cock had hardened. Would he pull away?
Thank fuck, he didn’t. Instead, he pulled me closer, our bodies now flush. He wanted it as much as me, that was clear.
I stumbled and almost fell into the drawing board, but he expertly backed me against the wall. I gripped his shoulders and pushed him away, panting.
“Fuck, Killian. I’ve never kissed anyone before.”
He nipped at my jaw, his hands on my arse. “You’re doing a fucking good job of it.”
His lips found mine again, and his hands found my hair. A muscular thigh slipped between mine and rubbed against my cock.
Jesus fucking Christ. I couldn’t breathe. It was overwhelming, but in a good way.
It was his turn to groan as his tongue entered my mouth, his plush lips soft against mine, his tongue tangling with mine.
“Whoa,” I placed my hand on his chest and gently pushed him away.
“What’s wrong? Did I do something wrong? Tell me.” He placed his hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eye.
“Sorry, I wasn’t expecting that. It’s fine, honestly.”
“Too soon?”
“A little. Would you mind if we took a breather?” I blew out a breath, then smiled. “I really enjoyed that.”
“I did, too.” He stroked his hand down my cheek. “But we can take it steady. Are you okay? I didn’t mean to push your boundaries.”
“I’m good.” I was pushing my own boundaries, seeing how far I could take it before putting a stop to it.
The truth was, I’d enjoyed that far too much, and if I hadn’t put a stop to it when I did, it would have gone much further. I didn’t want to ruin everything before we’d given it a chance to be something.
