I bit my lip, wondering what to do next. I hadn’t thought this far ahead, and seeing him now, standing in front of me with his boxers pulled down, I had no idea what to do.
“Do you want to touch it?”
I watched as he circled his cock and stroked it with long, languid pulls.
It grew even more, the purple head unsheathing itself from the foreskin. I was mesmerised, never having seen anything like this in my life. I’d masturbated, but it was nothing like this.
The cotton of my trousers brushed against the sensitive tip of my dick, reminding me how hard I’d become. I adjusted myself and watched as Killian’s eyes tracked my movement.
This was all new to me, and I almost freaked out, but it was the biggest fucking turn-on I’d ever experienced in my life.
“I’m not sure.” Maybe that was a step too far, but I watched with rapt attention as he stroked himself.
His eyes never left mine, pinning me in place. I couldn’t have looked away if I tried.
“Watch me,” he said, his voice husky and low.
I did as he asked, his movements still slow. He bit his lip, his eyes now hooded as his other hand pinched his nipples. I looked closer at his cock, thick with prominent veins. What would it feel like if I touched it? Would the skin be soft like mine? How hard would it be?
Jesus fucking Christ. I’d never seen anything so sensual in all my life, and I was rooted to the spot, unable to move.
I shoved my hands down my trousers and gripped my cock, squeezing as it begged for attention, never once taking my eyes from his hands.
This is wrong.
The voice in my head was insistent, but I batted it away, too intent on the scene unfolding in front of me.
Patches of red formed on Killian’s flushed skin. His hand moved lower and cupped his balls, his stance wider, but all the time. His other hand never stopped working his cock, fully encased in his huge fist. He panted as he picked up the pace, his eyes now fully closed. I didn’t think it’d be long.
By now, I was rubbing myself, perilously close to coming. I leant back against the doorframe, needing something to keep me upright.
Fuck, this was sexy and wrong.
No, it wasn’t. Only my stupid head said it was. Killian, Julie, and every other therapist I spoke to told me it wasn’t wrong to feel this way. How could it, when everything was so fucking good?
“Eyes on me, Harvey. I’m gonna come.”
Oh, he had my full attention now. He thrust his cock through the circle of his hand faster until his legs buckled. He held onto the banister with one hand, his release filling the other. A few droplets fell to the floor, but I didn’t care. He could have shot all over the carpet for all I cared. Seeing him come like that, fuck.
I couldn’t help myself and grunted as I came, my spunk warm in my hand. I didn’t remember the last time I’d orgasmed. Certainly not in the past two weeks. My heart raced from the exertion, my pulse loud in my ears until, finally, I could breathe normally again.
Killian watched closely, his hand closed around his now soft dick.
“Are you okay?” He looked concerned, and he had every right to. Even I didn’t know how I’d react to such a sexual act. “I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry.”
“Nope. You’re not apologising and, surprisingly, I feel good.” I imagined running and shutting myself away in my room, but that didn’t happen. I wouldn’t let him take the blame.
I could have looked away and ended it, but I hadn’t. I’d watched.
“Really? I know what you said earlier. Maybe we…”
“Killian. It was a fucking turn-on. I’ve never seen anyone, you know, do that before. Not in the flesh anyway.”
I’d watched porn and usually beat myself up over it the moment I came. Hell, sometimes I didn’t even get that far, but what I’d witnessed tonight with Killian was way better than anything I’d ever seen on a screen.
“You’re not going to, you know, do anything? I didn’t think.” He rubbed his forehead with his clean hand.
Was I going to rush to my bedroom and cut myself? The urge I usually experienced wasn’t there. I wasn’t saying it was a miraculous cure, but I couldn’t explain my reason. Maybe it was euphoria, and once I came down to earth, which I invariablywould, some doubts would creep in. Perhaps that’s when the problems would start again.
