His voice drops lower. “That’s not what I meant. I’m not saying you would…”
I let him dangle with all the rope he’s managed to hang himself with. I’m not rescuing him from this one.
Then he says, through gritted teeth, “Fine. You can go on a date.”
“I didn’t think I needed your permission, Daddy.”
I put my foot in the stirrup and mount up. I ride in the opposite direction, leaving Walker in the dust. I don't look back as I canter away across the field.
But I feel his eyes on me the whole way.
Good.
That night, I text Travis back.
Hey. Full disclosure, I’m not really in a place to date anyone right now. But Sutton’s is a good time on a Saturday night. Me and my friend sometimes go line dancing. Want to get together with us and meet up? Feel free to invite anyone you want. The more the merrier.
There. Honest and direct about only being open to friendship, while still being kind.
A few minutes later, I get a text back.
You’re on, Sadie Sullivan. Still gonna buy you a drink.
A winky-face emoji follows.
I try to imagine Walker texting me any type of emoji whatsoever and nearly burst into laughter.
All right. Well. That interaction with Travis went about as well as I could expect.
Still, I set my phone face-down on the nightstand and stare at the ceiling, feeling depressed for reasons I don’t want to think about.
I close my eyes and I think about the mountains, and the way Jonah hollered when he got his horse across a low jump today, and all the ways my life is good and full and practically speaking, more than enough.
I think about all of that instead.
I'm very, very good at being practical when I need to be.
I just wish it felt better than this.
Chapter 23
Bull
WALKER
Ihave all kinds of good intentions.
I spend the better part of the afternoon rehearsing them.
I'm going to be mature about this. Reasonable.
I'm going to tell Sadie I hope she has a nice time tonight. That she can call or text if she needs anything. That Travis seems like a decent enough guy.
I'm going to be happy for her.
I repeat it to myself while I drop Jonah at my dad's place. While I drive home. While I rattle around the house alone with nothing but the sound of my own thoughts, which aren’t helpful, which haven’t been helpful all week.
I'm happy for her. She deserves a nice evening out. This is good. This is healthy. This is exactly what should happen.
