I think about how I watched it happen and promised myself that I would never repeat her mistake. That I would never depend on a man for his money or his validation or anything.
And I always keep my promises.
That's what I keep reminding myself, anyway, for the rest of the week.
The next Friday, I’m back at Rosemont with all the Rhodes boys. This time, I’m on horseback too.
I'm not the expert rider they are, but I can hold my own. I've been on friends' ranches before, been around horses enough to feel comfortable. I might not be a barrel racer, but I can canter across an open field without embarrassing myself, and right now that feels like enough of a win.
Jonah looks back at me every time he pulls off a trick, checking that I'm watching, and I cheer and holler for himlike the number one fan I am. Because I am. That kid could trot in a circle and I'd applaud like he just won a ribbon.
He's an awesome kid.
His father, on the other hand, appears to be unable to pull his head out of his ass, so there's that.
I said my piece. I as much as told Walker I want to start something with him. That I want him to be my introduction to the world of sex and relationships.
It took every ounce of courage I have to admit it to him.
And he turned me down.Twice.
Dressed it up in self-sacrifice and concern for my wellbeing, but at the end of the day a no is a no and I’m not going to twist myself into knots over it.
So I'm not gonna beg. I'm not gonna pine. I'm gonna do my job and move on with my life.
I can still admire him from a distance, even if I'm back to being annoyed by him. And I am annoyed by him.
Especially that he has to look so hot while being so irritating. Black cowboy hat, matching chaps, brooding expression cranked up to eleven ever since our conversation in my bed.
Being annoyed at someone who looks like that is both invigorating and exhausting.
I dismount at the fence line and give myself a moment to regroup. I rest my forehead briefly against my borrowed mare's neck.
The mountains are burnished gold in the summer heat, the sky so blue it almost hurts to look at.
I get to spend my days with a great kid. I get to live in one of the most beautiful places in Montana, if not possibly the whole entire world. Now I get to play cowgirl too.
Maybe not on top of a certain grumpy country music singer, but hey, you can’t have everything.
While I dig in my pocket for the carrot pieces I brought formy mare, I hear boots in the grass. I look up to find a ranch hand approaching. Blonde hair, blue eyes. A face like a model, but with a friendly, bright-white smile instead of a moody look.
“Need a hand there?” he asks.
“I'm good, thanks.” I go back to feeding her nibbles of carrot.
He doesn't leave. I glance up again and catch the dimples deepening in his smile as he registers that I clocked him and looked away.
He's used to a bigger reaction than that, I bet.
Pretty and aware of it isn't really my type. Then again, my type appears to be brooding and self-destructive, so maybe I should expand my criteria.
“You're Jonah's nanny, right?” he says.
“Yep.”
“I'm Travis.” He puts out a hand.
“Sadie.” I shake it.
