“Humor me for a sec. I get only one chance to do this right.” He kissed me quickly before picking me up bridal-style.
“Put me down.”
“Don’t make me flip you over my shoulder.” It wasn’t a threat. He’d done it before, so I knew it was a promise. I tightened my arms around his neck, closing the space between us. We moved as if we’d done this hundreds of times, not twice.
Cactus opened the door in the garage, stepping through to the house. He sat me on the countertop in the kitchen, bracing his hands against the edge. “Why are you pissy, sweetheart?”
The white wall behind him was as sterile as the hospital had been. The irony hit hard. This didn’t feel like a fresh start. I didn’t want to be angry with him, but if he was planning on hiding me, I’d rather he’d said goodbye. “I’m confused, and the longer you don’t tell me what’s going on, the more it makes me think we’re over. You’re sending me away.” I socked his arm. It probably hurt me more than it did him, but he flinched like I’d just clubbed him.
“The motel’s gone. They’re going to demo it once the fire investigation is done.” He genuinely smiled. “If you want, we can live in my room at the clubhouse.”
“Fuck, no.” That would never happen. I tried to glance around, but his kiss pulled my focus back to him, cutting off whatever fight I had left.
“You need somewhere to call yours. I knew this was for sale.” His hands shifted, his knuckles going white as he gripped the counter. “Selfish on my part.” Heshrugged, lowering his eyes to somewhere around my neck. “I bought it for us, so that you’d have something real. Somewhere you’d want to call home.”
“Don’t make me beg for affection you’re not willing to give,” I breathed. I pulled a move from Cactus’s playbook. I reached under his beard, found his chin, and pushed up to make him look at me. “Is it? Are you going to stay here? I don’t want to stick around, waiting for you to show, husband.”
“They told you?” he asked, referring to the nurses.
I made a noncommittal noise. “They gushed about how romantic it was. I almost believed them until I saw my car.”
His face shifted, and his eyes narrowed. “Oh fuck. I didn’t think how that would look to you. You saw your car and assumed I was going to say goodbye?”
My eyebrows shot up.What else was I supposed to think? “You were the one to tell Aces, so I thought you were taking me to the highway. We end up here.” I waved my hands around. “I’m not even sure where we are.”
“I did. I couldn’t put you on the back of my bike after everything. Besides, we’re a few more miles from the historical district than you were originally. You’re going to need it to go back and forth.” He smiled, but his eyes held no emotion. They didn’t light up like they normally did when he was excited.
“I told you I was confused. I’ve gone so long without my car, I assumed it meant you were done with me. Then you pulled up to this house, and I thought you were going to dump me here. Are you seriously going to be here every night?”
“I know you have a hard time with change, but nothing will, except we’ll live here. Most nights, I’ll be home, all up in your space.” He stroked my inner thigh. “Some nights, I’ll have to stay in the clubhouse, especially when I’m leaving town.” Cactus paused. His jaw clenched as if the words tasted bitter.
“I won’t grill you about other women every time you’re there.” It wasn’t my style. If I couldn’t trust him not to touch, there was no point in building a life with him. We would have failed from the start.
His eyes blazed, trapping me in his gaze. I couldn’t look away for fear I’d miss something. “I need you to know I haven’t been with anyone since you showed up in town. Anyone, Roxy. I won’t disrespect you like that.”
“Why didn’t you say something sooner?” I wanted to shake him, as if that would make him talk faster.
“I’ve walked through hell with less on the line. I don’t want you questioning your worth, asking why you weren’t good enough to hold my attention. That’s a bunch of fucking bullshit, and right now, I want to give you the reassurance I won’t stray.”
“I love you,” I said, loud and clear so that there was no mistake. All the doubt I’d harbored, looking for a reason this wouldn’t work, fell like crumbled cinder blocks. I’d rather risk the pain than miss the opportunity to be with him.
“Say it again.”
“I love you,” I whispered. I wanted it to soak into every inch of him.
“I don’t always know how to show you love. Let me prove it to you. For as long as you’ll let me.”
If I wanted this to progress, I was going to have to be the one to make the first move. I’d spent years worried about pleasing my partners, only now realizing they never cared about satisfying me. Maybe that was why this moment was so important. Every touch, every action said love more than the words ever could.
Leaning forward, I nipped at his lips, waiting until they parted to slide my tongue inside. He said nothing, letting me take control as I reached for the back of his head. I ran my fingers through the short dark hair, scratching at his scalp. He groaned, the sound vibrating down my throat.
I loosened the strap of his belt, tugging it through the buckle. Grasping the zipper of his jeans, I whispered, “I want to christen every room of this house with you, but our first time should be right here.”
He shifted, his hand leaving the counter to cover mine. A spike of doubt hit me.Am I doing something wrong? Why is he stopping me when this is what we both wanted? I pulled away, not sure what to do.
“Are you sure about this?” he asked, raising his hand to my chin. “I can wait, and the countertop isn’t going anywhere.”
I didn’t want to wait—not when I was this close to finally feeling what it meant to be with someone I loved. I threaded our fingers, guiding his hand away from my face and letting it linger over my inner thigh.
