“Do you want to meet Mr. Holliday and Marshal Earp?” I asked the little boy. If he was afraid, I’d figure something else out. I didn’t want to see him traumatized on a family vacation. He said nothing, but he was old enough to unbuckle the strap of the booster chair, waiting for someone to lift him up.
“Do you have your phone with you so I can take a picture?” I whispered to his mother. She was stunned—half shocked, half trying not to cry. “If his food is cold, I’ll take care of it when we get back.” Reaching for the little boy, I set him down on the floor and held my hand out for him to hold. “Ready, cowboy?” He pulled me forward, knowing exactly how to get to the bar.
He stood between the men, waiting to see what was going to happen, but I took a few steps back to snap a few pictures for his mother. I’d been in Tombstone long enough to know they hadn’t planned this, but it must have been a possibility because the marshal opened his suit coat, pulling out gold marshal stickers. They both stood from their bar stools, kneeling in front of the boy. The marshal said a few general words and stuck the sticker on his chest. They had officially deputized the kid. It was a cute moment, but it opened up the floodgates.
“What about my kid?” a mother snipped from near the side of the room. “We had to wait to be seated.” She stood, pushing her kid towards the men, but she didn’t see Lulu coming with a stack of plates. Lulu had to sidestep them, twirling to make sure the woman didn’t knock all of them to the floor.
I hadn’t meant for any of this to happen. I froze, standing there like a deer in headlights, until Angelica took over. She’d been standing in the hallway between her office and the dining room. “I’m sorry for your wait,” she told the mother. “We do our best to be accommodating, but we never know when a visitor or two will drop in. I’m sure the men won’t mind deputizing each kid who’s currently in the room. There are way too many red sashes on the street.”
The men each tipped their heads in her direction.
She spoke a few more words to the mother before calling me over. “Hey,” she said, completely in control. I tried to apologize, but she waved me off. “It’s alright, I’ll grab an apron from my office and take over your tables. You’re in charge of making sure each kid gets a few minutes with them. The food will be cold by the time they’re done, but we can either remake it or send fresh with them.” Angelica winked at me as she pivoted down the hallway.
For the next forty-five minutes, I led kid after kid up to be deputized. It was fun, but each time I saw Angelica with plates, my stomach crumbled. I should have been serving, not adding myself to the circus.
I tried to help Lulu for a second between kids, but she scolded me. “We’re going to have a good day,” she said, winking at me before rushing off.
I was walking the last kid back to their parents when the back of a motorcycle club cut caught my attention. Saint’s Outlaws. Tombstone. My breath hitched as Cactus walked out the door. I hadn’t even known he was here.
The door swung shut behind him, and I waited to see if he’d look through the windows. Nothing.
He could have said hello.
The thought slipped through the cracks, pulsing at the forefront of my mind. There had been plenty of people blocking the front of the saloon, and yet, I’d been able to see his patch clearly. It could have been any of them, but I had known immediately. The broad span of his back emanated the power he wielded. The control as the sea of people parted for him, knowing he wasn’t a man they wanted to cross. I should have followed their example. He had no reason to say anything, and there was no expectation that he would single me out. It still hurt, like a pinprick.
I took over my tables, but in the quiet moments, I kept asking myself what the fuck I was thinking. Every interaction I had had with him ended in suspicion. He’d accused me of bringing harm to the town, and I had refused to ease his mind—going in circles until the next time he asked for my story.
Another thought raced forward, but I grabbed my plates, efficiently shutting it down. Putting a smile on my face made it easier to pretend I wasn’t overthinking something that didn’t exist. Most of the families were gone, shifting into the older clientele that came for lunch after the circus left. They didn’t want to wait outside in the heat, and they normally didn’t care about seeing a cowboy. It was just a perk. I was dropping a check at a husband and wife’s table when the husband stopped me for a quick chat.
“My wife couldn’t help watching you. You have such a presence—it’s hard to look away. I hope she still looks at me after fifty years.” He chuckled.
“She’s probably just making sure you don’t run off,” I said. He reached for his wife’s hand, and they both smiled at each other as if they were sharing a private joke.
“Honey,” she said to me with a playful glance, “sometimes you’ve just got to keep an eye on them—make sure they don’t get away.”
I made a little more small talk before I excused myself, uncomfortable with how close the conversation had come to my thoughts. I should have been numb to being overlooked by now. My mother had never raised me, preferring to tell me I had wrecked her life. She’d bring the latest boyfriend over, trying to keep him happy, so that he’d supply her habit. I’d hidden in the closet, under the bed, anywhere I could be invisible. It had worked, but all it had taught me was the need to hide.
Like mother, like daughter, I hadn’t chosen my boyfriends well either. One after another, they’d all been transactional. I would pick one, believing he was my savior, but then I would need something basic and he would turn me away. Each one had shrunk a piece of me until I learned to hold all the pieces close to my chest. I couldn’t afford to be hurt, fearing I’d lose myself. It had been one right after another until Jimmy found me. It had been my longest relationship, but the rules were still the same. He’d traded me for his own gain.
Cactus—the protector of everyone but me. He couldn’t help it. I recognized the trait ingrained in his core, because no one had ever looked out for me. Maybe this was just a trauma response, and once I left, I’d never look back. Maybe that was the genuine attraction, not to the man, but to the feeling of finally being safe.
It was a lie, and when the older woman had mentioned “not letting him get away,” my first thought had been about him. I wanted to believe there was something, but any movement would have to come from him. Cactus would have to find me worthy, and right now, we were a long way away.Why the fuck do I even care?I’d sworn off bad boys.
It was my fault. I’d forgotten not to get attached.
Once my car was ready, I’d leave, and no one would remember I had evenexisted—not even him.
***
“Roxy!” Lulu screamed, waving her hands in my direction as she sat on one of the dining room chairs in Angelica’s office. “What the fuck was that?”
“You’re asking me? This all started because of you.” I shut the door of the office before flopping down in the nearest chair. The night girls had already taken over, and the rest of us were trying to find some energy to go home. It’d been non-stop until five, when the tourists realized there wouldn’t be any more possible sightings.
“I thought it was funny when they first told me you were the cowboy whisperer.” Francene moaned as she slipped her shoes off. “The people came, so I knew something had happened, but this…I’ve seen nothing like it.”
“We’ve never made this kind of money in the summer.” Angelica laid her head back against her desk chair. “I’d have to check, but I’m not sure we even make this much in winter.” She tilted her head, looking at me before she pulled a wad of bills out of her apron pocket. “Before you go, grab this. It’s yours.”
She’d stepped in to help me, and I really didn’t feel like I had earned it. Lulu had taken me outside, but I’d kept up the charade, putting all of us in this strange predicament. “It’s okay. Keep it.”
