“Ronan and I got into an argument. No, not really an argument. It’s about that little thing that I mentioned to you before,” I said. “The thing he suggested the other day and then I said no. He’s acting…” I thought. “Huffy. Petulant, like he’s been done wrong.”
“The thing that you talked about before—oh, you mean how he wanted to move in together? That was a big thing.”
“No, it wasn’t,” I said irritably. “It would have been as roommates.” There was no reason for him to throw away our friendship over it.
“Are you sure that’s all he wanted?” she asked me. “I know that you guys think I’m crazy about how I get on Tay’s ass about her love life, but I have good instincts.”
“You’re not crazy, but you’re annoying,” I informed her, and she tossed her braids.
“Yeah, she does seem happy with the status quo but that doesn’t mean that you are. Or Ronan is.”
“Kiya, he and I discussed messing around and decided against it,” I reminded her.
“But what if he wants more than that? I could be right this time,” she insisted. “It’s just something to consider. Maybe that’s why he’s petulant, or maybe it’s because he’s like my Cado and he can’t express his big feelings. I mean, Channing.”
I knew who she’d meant and it was also annoying to hear her call him that again. “I’ll never eat guacamole after this,” I announced, and she laughed. So did I, which felt better.
I wasn’t laughing when I drove to the diner after work, the same place Ronan and I had gone months before when we’d first eaten together. I had thought he was so cute, so funny, so...I had liked him a lot. I liked him even more now, and I was determined to fix this.
That was what I said when I walked up to the booth where he was already waiting for me. “I’ll do anything to fix this.”
His green eyes widened. “What?”
“I know that you’re mad at me because I told you that I didn’t want to move out of my apartment and in with you. Looking back, I can see how I said it very rudely and I’m sorry. And also, you were totally right. I don’t like being in that apartment. I hate it,” I admitted. “It never felt like home to me, but I thought that things would improve if I got the right doormat and pillows. Maybe drapes, too. But it hasn’t improved and I hate it. I hate it,” I repeated for the third time. “Maybe I do want a pet besides Polyphemus. Maybe I do want roommates. A roommate, one in particular.” I paused and waited for his response.
“Hi, Cate. Nice to see you,” Ronan said. “Have a seat. Do you want something to drink?”
After all that talking and the nerves I’d been feeling, I did want the glass of water he offered as I slid into the booth across from him. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” he answered. “You don’t need to apologize to me.”
“But you were mad, so I do.”
“I can be mad and it may not relate to you at all.”
“Ok, but it came directly after I rudely told you that I didn’t want to move into your house,” I reasoned. “So it makes sense to think that it did relate to me.”
He didn’t deny it this time. “The past few days have been really weird. Kind of shitty.”
“I know.” I hesitated for a second and then reached across the table and took his hands. “I missed you a lot. I didn’t realize how much I depend on talking to you and seeing you.”
“Yeah. Me too,” he said. Thank goodness, he hadn’t pulled away from my grip. In fact, he moved his fingers so that they were intertwined with mine. I started to believe that he did still want me as his friend, but I was going to be cautious with it.
“Morgan Hurley told Xavier that you were crying in the stands at the game,” he mentioned.
“It could have been allergies.”
“Or it could have been that you were sad,” he told me, and that was correct.
“I’ve been a mess,” I admitted. “But I think I know what will fix it. If you would still be ok with a roommate, I would like to take you up on that offer.”
Then, horribly, he didn’t answer right away. He sat in silence and I started to get the feeling that I was melting inside, melting into some kind of despair. This wasn’t running off my back at all.
“I’m not sure,” Ronan finally said, but when I tried to pull my hands away, he held on. “No, wait. I think this is it. This is what I’m getting.”
“What?” I glanced at the menus at the side of the table. “For dinner?”
“For life. I think this is the best thing,” he stated. “This is what I always said I wanted. This is it.”
