The Woodsmen lost that game and it was a totally different feeling in the stadium as the clock ran down. I was used to everyone clapping and cheering, but tonight we quietly filed out and made our way to the family lounge. “Damn,” Morgan remarked calmly. After thousands of games, she was used tothis. “Xavier is going to be pissed about that pass interference call in the fourth quarter. It was bull.”
“Ronan seems to be a lot like a duck,” I remarked. “You know, it just slides off him.”
“Yeah, but have you ever watched those birds swim? They’re cruising along but their little orange feet are going like crazy under the water, trying to stay afloat.”
I nodded. “I guess they do that. Ducks do that, but not humans.”
“No, I haven’t seen many humans paddling around ponds chasing breadcrumbs. Lord, I’m tired.” She sat down on one of the couches and started to tell me about pregnancy, how she’d been sick all day long but also exhausted. “It’s hard when you already have two! With my first, I would literally lie down and nap on the floor of the house when I got the urge.”
Those words triggered a memory for me but another woman came to join us and we started talking about big Halloween party she was planning, and that holiday wasn’t too far away. The season was flying by, and when it was over, it might have meant Ronan moving. I listened to them talk but I still didn’t do a good job at making friends, because I didn’t contribute much.
The Woodsmen started coming out to join us, one at a time and in batches. Ronan emerged with several other large men, none of whom seemed particularly happy about the loss but they weren’t throwing things and swearing like my dad had done when things hadn’t gone his way at work or with online gaming.
He saw me and walked over, and I stood up. “Hey,” he said. “Thanks for waiting. I didn’t know that you were going to.”
“Yes, of course. I said before that I would. Before our phone call. And about that, I—” I had been trying to plan this and think of what I would say, but the words didn’t come. It really wasn’t like me to stumble in conversation and not get my meaning across…except I didn’t feel sure about that meaning.
He waited but when I didn’t finish, he spoke again. “I’m not going home. We’re heading out to get a drink.” He looked at the group of men that appeared to be waiting for him.
“Oh, ok.”
“I should have told you so that you didn’t sit around. I didn’t actually think that you’d be here.”
“I said that I would,” I answered.
“Things were weird on the phone but I should have known that you’d follow through. Sorry.”
“That’s ok. Have fun,” I said, and he told me sure, he would.
“I’ll talk to you later,” Ronan mentioned.
“When? Will you call me? Are you angry at me? Are you disappointed? Do you still want to be my friend? Is this your first step away, of you creating distance between us? Should I have said yes, that I would move into your house? Did I ruin everything?”
I didn’t actually ask those questions. I nodded and he nodded back, and I walked out with him and the other members of the defense. When they stopped to sign autographs for the fans whowaited at the door, I kept going, back to my car. I went back to my apartment, back to the couch with the pillows I no longer liked, back to Polyphemus.
“I’m a duck,” I told him. I thought of their orange feet paddling, and I wondered if they ever gave up and sank.
Chapter 14
I’d seen Taylor look focused on work, sick from a hangover, and intent as she listened to problems, but I’d never seen her like this—like she was about to cry. “Are you ok?” I asked her.
“Tay, what’s wrong? Oh my God,” Kiya said, and she started nodding. “I knew this would happen. You finally realized that you’re in love—”
“No, this has nothing to do with me! Christ, Kiya!” She angrily huffed and appeared more like her usual self, and not so scared and serious.
“Then, what?” Kiya reached over and grabbed her hand. Maybe she was annoying about Taylor’s love life, but they were like sisters.
The three of us had gone out to eat today, leaving the stadium to sit in a little coffee shop nearby because Taylor had told us that she wanted to discuss something without being overheard. People did sometimes eavesdrop at in the lunchroom…I hadeavesdropped in the lunchroom. But none of us had touched the sandwiches we’d ordered, because something was wrong.
Then Taylor told us what it was: “Victoria is pregnant.”
“Oh my God,” Kiya breathed. “Oh my God. She’s been so weird lately, tired and stuff. And sick instead of eating!”
I thought of Morgan Hurley telling me about nausea and about napping. “It makes sense,” I said. “Judas Priest.”
“It’s a bigger problem than you know,” Tay continued.
“Bigger than a baby?” I wondered.
