“No, but it’s unusual,” I pointed out. “Why are you like this right now?”
He ate a little more and shrugged.
“Is it football-related?” I pressed. Lately, everything in his life was related to football. I had thought that he was busy during the training camp, but I’d been wrong. It was nothing compared to this.
And I was wrong about my guess, too, because he was shaking his head. “My brother called today,” he said.
“Do you talk to him a lot?”
“No. It’s not like we don’t get along, but we just don’t have much in common. We grew up in the same house but apart. He moved out when I was fifteen.”
I remembered the story of how Ronan had stopped his brother’s tormentor, the neighbor who had also lived with him. “I thought you were older.”
“He’s older, I’m bigger. We text about our parents since we took over their lives, and that’s about it. But he called me today to say that he’s getting married.”
“Oh. That’s…do you think it’s bad? Is that why you’re frowning?” He looked ferocious, which he wasn’t.
“I don’t understand what the hell he’s doing. If anyone would be opposed to all that bullshit, it’s Cormac.”
“The bullshit—”
“He’s not just getting married. His girlfriend is pregnant,” he told me. “He’ll be a father. I know he remembers how it was in our house.”
“Chaos and calamity,” I recalled. “That’s how you described it.”
“My parents loved to take in kids and save people. They had a rotation of strangers living with us all the time, not only my cousins and the neighbors, but adults, too. And some of them were seriously messed up. Mom and Dad never seemed to notice how we were scared or the problems those people caused, like the line for the bathroom or the added costs.”
I nodded, understanding both the fear of strangers and the need for money very well.
“They were terrible with their finances. My dad was a great guy so he’d do all kinds of car repairs for free, but gratitude didn’t buy new clothes and I was constantly growing out of mine. I promised myself that when I was old, I would always have something to wear and I would always have food in the refrigerator. I remember going to school embarrassed about how my sleeves were so short and with my feet hurting because my shoes were too small, and I remember chewing on ice cubes to try to make my stomach stop hurting.”
I thought of how much he needed to eat now to compensate for his size and workouts, and I got furious. “That’s entirely crappy!”
“It got better when one of the cousins who lived with us started stealing. He gave me money to buy food for myself, and I used to hide it in my backpack so my mom wouldn’t share it around. He’s in prison now, doing a longer stint for taking a car. A few cars,” he amended. “I paid for his lawyer, because I owed him.”
“Is your brother the same way? I mean, is he also foolishly generous?”
“No,” Ronan answered shortly. “You could barely pry a dime out of his grip.”
“Are you worried that he won’t treat his wife and baby well? Do you think that he’ll deprive them of necessities because he’s stingy?”
“No! We’re not best friends, but he’s not a terrible person,” he told me. “He would never hurt his kid. He’s cheap but that makes sense with how we had to scrape by. After he left home, he did help me out when he could.”
I tried to think of other things that might have been making him upset. “Do you think that your brother will stop watching out for your parents now that he has other responsibilities, so it will all fall on you?”
“I didn’t consider that.” He did now, but only for a second. “No. He wouldn’t forget them, because he’s extremely responsible. I know for a fact that he pays his taxes a few months early. He texts to say ‘happy birthday’ in March, and I was born at the end of April.”
That was all I had, then, so I waited.
“I’m not saying it’s a bad thing to have a heart and to help others,” he stated. “I do that, too.”
I nodded and waited more.
“I don’t know what I’m so upset about,” he admitted. “Maybe I’m afraid that Cormac will act that way…what did you call it? Foolishly generous. But his girlfriend is another lawyer, so she could probably take care of herself. She could take care of a kid, too.” He paused. “Yeah, maybe I’m afraid that he’ll stop helping me with our parents…no, I could handle them on my own.”
“Or I could help.” I had been in charge of myself for as long as I could remember. “I have plenty of free time, especially on weekends.”
“I know you would,” he said. He seemed to relax a little. “It sounds stupid now that I’m saying it all out loud. What do I care if he ruins his life, anyway?”
