“Goodnight mommy’s jam.” I could hear her giggling as I left out of the door. She loved her nickname. It was given to her because of her birthmark. My strawberry jam. Going to the doors to make sure they were locked; I did the same for the windows. Most kids that are on the spectrum were runners, and Mila was no different. It was hard as fuck at times, but I wouldn’t trade my au-some baby for anything in the world. After making sure everything was good, I called my sister, Shaq.
“Hey sissie, did I leave something?”
“Yeah, bitch. Your mind. Why in the hell would you be talking to Mila about prostitutes? You know how her mind works and now she thinks I’m a damn whore.”
“Girl, her lil nosey ass heard me talking on the phone. You know damn well I ain’t said that to Jammy Jam. That girl is a trip.” I couldn’t do shit but shake my head because that was a fact.
“Just try and be careful when you’re talking around her.”
“I know sissie. Anyways, Ty told me you went to see Devin. Did you tell him?” Rolling my eyes, I started getting my stuff ready to take a bath.
“Yall hoes talk too damn much. Try worrying about that nigga you be giving your cat to.”
“Oh, we in a mood. I’m not worrying about none of the niggas I’m living with. I’m trying to find me one of them NBA players to take me through derrrrr!”
“So, you’re using me in order to find you a baller. Got it.”
“Of course but quit trying to change the subject. Did you tell him?”
“If Ty told you everything else, why the hell didn’t she tell you that part?”
“Girl, can you just tell me what happened. Gahhh leeee!” Laughing, I waited about ten more seconds and felt she had suffered enough. Even though it wasn’t anything to tell, her ass didn’t know that.
“He didn’t know who I was. So, I picked my face up off the floor and got up out of there.” I could hear her exhale, but it was more than just me telling Devin. I had Garrett to think about.
“Brianna, every time he’s here, you make a different excuse. At first, you wouldn’t go to the games, and now you get some balls and finally go, but you still don’t tell him.”
“First off, my name is Blaise. Second, this shit is not as easy as you think. What am I supposed to do? Walk up on anigga I haven’t seen in years, and only spoke to once, and say what? Hey Devin, remember me? I know you’re in the NBA now, but I wanted to let you know we have a kid together. HE DIDN’T EVEN KNOW WHO THE FUCK I WAS! You think he’s going to believe me about a baby? Tuh, but that’s what I should have said to him, right?”
“Yes! That’s exactly what you’re supposed to say. I mean, it might help if you say it naked, but you get my drift. I know she wasn’t planned, but that shit ain’t right.” I looked at the phone as if she could see me.
“Sissie, and what about Garrett? That is the only father Mila knows. She’s not like other kids, and I’m not sure if a change that big will be good for her.”
“It will be hard, but she has you, and you have me. Let’s be real, this will be too much for your punk ass husband to handle. You and I both know if it wasn’t for him, you would have been told Devin.” I wasn’t sure if she was right, but either way, I had too many things to think about.
“Well, I have a long day. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Oh, and sissie, fuck Devin. He is not the good guy here. I’m keeping the secret, but remember, he fucked me, dropped me off, and now acting like he don’t know me.”
“Whatever! Bye!” Hanging up the phone, I walked to the kitchen and grabbed me a bottle of wine. Pouring myself some in a glass, I downed it all quickly. Hearing the alarm beep, I closed my eyes and got ready for my next headache.
“Hey, you’re still up?” I looked at Garrett like he was crazy.
“It’s only nine. I’m guessing you would want me sleep so you wouldn’t have to discuss your activities for today.”
“I don’t have to discuss shit. You know what you signed up for. Is my baby girl sleep?” Rolling my eyes, I poured another cup of wine and downed that as well.
“You know she goes to sleep at the same time every night. Garrett, do you need anything else?”
“I’m assuming dinner is too much to ask for?” Scoffing, I turned to walk off.
“You’re assuming correct. Ain’t no way you laid up all day playing house and think I’m going to cook. I’m about to shower and go to bed. You know what you signed up for.” I threw his words back at him before heading to the shower.
Climbing in the water, I thought about my life. I was fresh out of college when I met Garrett, and he knew I was green and gullible. Pregnant without a way out in sight, his ass scooped in and saved the day. He would mold me, build me, make me a star all while being a father to my child with a few restrictions. I could never tell her real father or Mila that he wasn’t her dad. We would be the power couple the media built us up to be, and I had to accept his outside affairs as long as he stayed discreet.
I signed the contract and the prenup stating I would lose it all if I went against any of it. Hell, what did I have to lose? Devin didn’t know anything about Mila, and he didn’t want my ass anyway. When I got out of his car that night, I was trying to save face. I gave up my virginity in a car to a nigga that never spoke to me before that night.
The naïve part of me thought he would get out and follow me, or at least ask me for my number, but he didn’t. Too ashamed from the events that happened at the party and the shit after, I opted out of graduation, tucked my tail, and went home. I’m sure him and his friends got a good laugh out of me. The shit didn’t stop there though. Five weeks later, I was sitting in a doctor’s office crying because I was pregnant by a guy who didn’t give a fuck enough to even ask me for my number. I was a virgin that night, so there was no question on who the father was. The game was the first time I was that close to telling him, and he looked at me like I was some random on the street. That’s why Ibe like fuck Devin Mercer. Laughing at me sounding like Smokey off Friday, I grabbed my body wash and cleaned my body as I cried and cleansed my soul.
4-DEVIN “THE MERCENARY” MERCER
