“Fine. Koa. Anyway, you looked like you might require rescuing again, so I came over.”
“I’m perfectly fine at handling things myself,” I retort.
“But isn’t this so much better?” he asks, motioning toward the alcove we now stand in. He scoots closer, forcing me to move backward. My back hits the bookshelf behind me.
He puts one arm over my head, his other hand fingering one of the flowers on my dress. “Isn’t it?” His voice is low, and his eyes are now fixed on my lips. My gaze darts to his mouth.
“Az—”
He trails his hand upward, his finger brushing against my collarbone, then up the slope of my neck, and finally curling around my jaw. His thumb rests on my bottom lip, and my mouth parts involuntarily.
“I can’t stop thinking about you,” he mutters. I whimper, feeling like I might combust right there. “That sound,” he says. “It’s on repeat in my head. It’s driving me insane.” He leans in closer, his thumb brushing my lower lip as he moves his hand to cup my jaw.
“I have to pick someone tonight,” I blurt, instantly cursing myself for telling him. I hadn’t intended on choosing anyone tonight, but being here with him feelsright.
He freezes, his mouth only inches from mine. “What do you mean?”
“What do you think I mean?”
He tilts his head, brushing his finger along my lower lip again, his eyes tracking its path. “Well, you could mean a lot of things.”
I roll my eyes. “I have to pick who I’m going to marry tonight. I’ve been thinking…I think you were right.”
“About?”
“This does feel right, doesn’t it?” I ask, searching his eyes, but they won’t meet mine. “I know you said you didn’t want to rule, but what if we could find a way to make it work? What if you could rule your court and be High King?”
He closes his eyes. When he opens them, they look…pained.
“I can’t. I can’t leave my court.”
I freeze. “What? What are you talking about?”
“Mae, listen to me,” he says, his voice low. “This would never work. Your court would never accept me as their High King.”
“We could work it out,” I say, but doubt is creeping into my voice now.
His thumb stills on my mouth. “No,” he says, shaking his head once. “I’m sorry. I never should have done this,” he says.
“Asmo,” I say pleadingly. “What do you mean? I’m telling you that I want to try to make this work.”
He removes his hand from my lips, and my heart finally starts to crack. My lip feels cold without the feel of his thumb against them. He’s…he actually meant it when he said he wouldn’t accept the offer if I chose him.
He closes his eyes and runs his hand through his hair, a single lock of hair falling forward. It takes every ounce of willpower not to reach forward and smooth it back. He steps away from me and looks up, staring at the ceiling. His jaw works as he thinks through his next words. Finally, he looks back at me. His expression is unreadable but not unfamiliar. Gone is the look of affection, replaced now with something colder.
“I am not right for you. I’m every kind of wrong for you. I have done terrible, unspeakable things. I am not a good male. I do not belong with you or this court. I do not deserve to sit beside you on the throne. I belong in my court, not here.” He takes a step back. “I made a mistake pursuing you,” he says, motioning between us.
“No,” I plead, stepping closer to him. I cup his cheek, trying to force him to look at me.
He jerks his head away and takes another step back. “I’m sorry,” he mutters before turning his back on me and walking away.
“Asmo,” I call, but he doesn’t turn around. No, he just walks away, leaving me standing there alone.
I should have known. He told me. I was a fool for thinking things could be different.
I sink to the floor, my dress pooling around me. I clench my fists and squeeze my eyes shut, willing myself not to cry, focusing on the sting of my nails as they cut into my palms. My heart pounds in my chest, each beat threatening to crack each rib that protects it. If only they could have protected my heart from this.
Each breath I take comes slowly and with effort as I force myself to focus on that movement alone. That single act that keeps me alive. That single act that feels nearly impossible now that the future I envisioned—the future with Asmo—has changed again.
