The rows and rows of bodies flash through my mind again, bringing a heavy dose of loss and helplessness with it. I swallow hard, trying to get myself under control.
My phone buzzes in my hand. Rhys has texted again, telling me I should take a few days before I see Trina. Even though my first reaction is to dismiss his advice, I know the worst thing I could do is rush over there right now.
I know I love her, and that I can’t lose her, but I’m still angry. I have no idea what kind of words will come out of my mouth, and the last thing I want to do is hurt her again.
With a heavy sigh, I put my phone down and go into Trina’s room, looking at all the empty spaces as if I could somehow conjure her to return if I focus hard enough. My body is still aching from the run and the long, hard day, so I curl up in bed, letting her scent soothe me.
***
Several hours later, I’m woken by the light pouring through the window. It looks like late morning, and I chastise myself a bit for sleeping late. I hurry to the kitchen to get my phone, dreading what I’ll find.
To my relief, no one else has died, but it is still touch-and-go for a lot of people. The infirmary is working nonstop tokeep those people alive and fighting, and new cases have come in overnight. I only delay for five minutes to get changed, then run straight there.
I try to ignore the fact that Trina hasn’t tried to text or call. I know what I said to her was unforgivable, and if she never wants to see me again, I will have to deal with that for the rest of my life.
When I arrive at the infirmary, Merle is outside leaning on the wall with her eyes closed. Fearing the worst, I hurry over to her, ready to carry her inside to a bed if needs be.
“Merle,” I say, touching her on the shoulder. “Are you okay? Can I help you inside?”
“I’m okay, Alpha,” she says gently. “Just taking a break. The work is nonstop, but not as dire as yesterday.” She studies my face. “You look a bit better.”
“I am,” I reply. “And I’m ready to fight this thing. What can I do?”
She swallows hard and looks away from me, her eyes brimming with pain. “The… grieving families are here, and they want a funeral.”
Her words hit me like physical blows. Even though it’s so obvious, it hadn’t occurred to me until now that we’d have to bury the dead.
“Is there anything else you need?” I ask.
Merle shakes her head. “We’ll let you know.”
She turns and goes back inside. I follow her, seeing people gathered in the back of the hall where the bodies are still laid out in rows. I immediately call the family who owns excavators and organize for them to dig graves in the field beyond the infirmary.
The day is one of the hardest I’ve ever had to live through, but at the same time, it feels like slicing open an infected wound and finally cleansing it so it can heal. As we stand over the graveyard, saying our final words, I make it clear to the pack that the increase of the curse was completely my fault. I make it publicly known that I brought Trina here against her will and without the council’s permission. I can tell much of the pack is shocked by this, and after the funeral, I don’t hear a single word against Trina.
Maybe I would, if the pack was talking to me at all.
Other pack members begin to avoid me completely, and the only thing I can do is work ceaselessly in the infirmary. My guilt grows over the next few days as I continue with my duties, wondering how much my actions really affected the spell, even the dark magic.
Did it go wrong because I forced her? Dear God, this could all be my fault.
***
By the third day, my emotions are raw, and my body is completely worn out. When a few of the older men stop in front of me on my way out, I stop and feel a sense of acceptance finally settling inside me.
Maybe they’ve come to tear my throat out. Make it quick, boys. Don’t make this something else I have to live through.
“Alpha,” one of them says, “the council has called you out to the manor. Haven’t you been checking your messages?”
“No,” I reply, shaking my head.
Looking at my phone got too fucking depressing. It was all bad news and silence from Trina.
“We can give you a ride,” one of the others says. “You have to answer for your crimes.”
Guilt aches in my chest, pouring into my guts and turning my blood to ice. I just nod, feeling almost relieved that this moment has finally come.
I let the guys take me to the manor. They seem surprised that I’ve come along so quietly. Even though they obviously want me to stand trial, clearly, the way I’m accepting my fate is something they hadn’t expected.
