I know I’m scared of being taken prisoner and yanked out of my home, as well as losing my comfortable little life. All of that pales, though, when I think about how my body wakes up whenever I get close to him.
Am I scared of wanting him?
I shake off the confusing feelings and collect the clothes. I notice that Sadie has left me a makeup kit as well. The dress fits me well enough, and her shoes are only a little too big.
“Good enough for one day, I guess,” I mutter to myself as I put on some lipstick.
The world feels even more surreal as I go back to the kitchen and see Sadie and Owen talking casually like old friends.
Is she on his side? She must be. I don’t know if I can trust her…
Then Sadie turns to me with a bright, friendly smile that makes my heart melt, and I feel bad for doubting her.
She is my friend. I believe that, even if I don’t believe half the shit I’ve heard over the last twelve hours.
“Ready, Trina?” she asks. “That dress fits you really nicely. I’ve always got spare stuff in the car these days. I never know where I’m going to end up.”
“Is the council still at the manor?” Owen asks. “If you left last night, they might have, as well.”
“I don’t know,” Sadie answers. “But I assume so. Even if they did leave, they’ll head back today to meet with you, I assume.”
Owen looks chastised, and it gives me a brief feeling of triumph.
Even your own people don’t agree with what you’ve done!
“We should go,” Sadie says. “If you’re ready?”
I nod and follow her out the door, trying not to look at Owen. I can feel his eyes on me, and the tangle of emotions in my belly writhes and twists like snakes trying to escape through my ribs.
Just a few weeks ago, I was drooling over him. Now I’m just furious… and scared. I’ve worked so hard to heal from my past, and now I’m back to square one.
“Are you okay?” Sadie asks as we get into the car. I nod, not feeling like explaining.
I’ve kept this to myself my whole life. I’m not about to open up now.
On the way to the museum, Sadie keeps talking about light topics, and I engage a little. I know she’s trying to distract me, but my thoughts just keep running back around to what will happen when I get home tonight.
I’m not scared of him, not exactly… but he’s awakened old fears in me, and I don’t think I can forgive him for that.
When we get to work, I go straight to the office to deal with admin and Sadie goes back to the old rooms where she’s still filing the historical texts. Something clicks into place in my mind as I realize Sadie discovered the truth about herself right here in this building.
What else is back there, I wonder?
The hours pass fairly quickly as I work through the mundane tasks of replying to emails and calls, tending to mailing lists, and contacting sponsors. Even though it’s incredibly boring to most people, I’ve always found reception to be an easy, fulfilling task that lets me use my talents without overexerting myself.
Like phoning it in, every single day… literally.
The thought gives me a giggle as I go back to the phone to negotiate with a gift supplier, preparing collectibles for sale in our shop. Time gets away from me as I go through the tasks, and when Sadie knocks on the door, I almost jump out of my skin.
“Oh, you scared me,” I say.
“Didn’t mean to,” Sadie laughs. “You want to come for morning coffee?”
“I sure do,” I answer, getting up. “I’m well and truly overdue for a snack.”
We go up the hall to the break room, and the familiarity of it, combined with the absolutely ridiculous circumstances from last night, almost makes my head spin.
“Looks like we’ve got the place to ourselves for a bit,” Sadie says, making coffee and bringing it to the table. “Is there anything you’d like to talk about?”
