Blake blew out a breath, shoved his hands through his hair, and stared at the ceiling. “Something inside me broke when Caden died. I haven’t been the same since then. He was my kid brother. There were only the two of us left, and it was my job to protect him. Then he joined the army, and I know he did it for me. Because I couldn’t sign up, he wanted to take my place.”
The man sucked in a huge breath. “Which means it should have been me who died. It was me who wanted to sign up. Caden could have done anything he wanted.”
Seth nodded, responding to the anguish in the man’s voice. “He was a great kid.”
Blake’s eyes filled with tears, and he slumped back into the chair. “He’d be so ashamed of me right now.”
Seth sat on the visitor’s chair to keep them at the same level. “I think Caden would understand. He wouldn’t like it, but he’d get it. He loved you. Nothing could change that.”
Blake rubbed his hand over his eyes. “I’m going to plead guilty to whatever they throw at me. I won’t put you through a trial.”
That was a relief. “Thanks.”
Blake nodded and sat for a few moments, breathing deeply. Then he looked up. “Can you tell me about him? About what it was like for him over there?”
That was better than talking about how the kid had died. “General Majumdar wanted to create a special forces team. He called me in to help choose who else would be on it. He’d narrowed it down to fifteen people. The team’s purpose was to take down the leaders of insurgent groups, to stop them from destroying the lives of innocent people. They ripped families apart, destroyed crops, and forced the men to work for them. Sometimes they killed the families they left behind. The worst of the worst.”
“Caden was one of the men Majumdar was considering. I hadn’t met your brother at the time, but his resume was strong. Every commander he’d worked with had good things to say. Followed orders well, didn’t panic, good teammate. The only downside was his age. He was a handful of years younger than anyone else in the pile.”
Blake’s eyes never left Seth’s. “Why did you choose him?”
That had Seth smiling at the memory. “The reports showed Caden was more than just a good grunt who followed orders. He helped teams bond because he was so damn curious. He wanted to know everything. Every damn thing.”
A tear spilled down Blake’s cheek, but he smiled. “He was always like that. About cars, where food came from, and why frogs couldn’t talk.”
Seth chuckled. “Sounds like him. The reports also said he had a good sense of humor, but that it didn’t interfere with the job. He knew when to stow it away.”
Another nod from Blake.
Seth continued. “When the team first met, and we were getting to know each other while training our asses off for sixteen-hour days, we could rely on Caden to keep us moving. Called us all Gramps if we slowed down.”
Blake grinned, and Seth could see the resemblance between the brothers.
“He was the first with a hand out if anyone went down. During off-hours, he wanted to know what our other dreams were. Said everyone should have at least a few dreams in case shit went sideways. Hell, he’s one of the reasons I was able to get through therapy and walk again. Kept imagining him calling me Gramps when I wanted to give up.”
Blake blew out a breath. “He’d be glad you didn’t, and that you’re making that second dream work.”
Seth nodded. “He would. He was proud of you for finding a new dream when the first one didn’t work out. Caden always showed us the cars you fixed up. He could drive anything. Hot-wire them, too.”
Another smile from his brother. “Sounds like Caden. How did he get Maki for his callsign?”
Seth was glad this was a good story. “Most of us had had our callsigns for years. Before he came to us, they called Caden Giggles. He hated it. One day, he got serious and asked if we could change it. Most of the time, your team chooses your sign, and you don’t get much of a say about it.”
Seth smiled at the memory. “The kid wanted to have something to honor you. Wanted a sign you’d be proud of. He suggested Blake, but one guy suggested Maki as a short form of your surname. That way, it would represent both you and Caden. He loved it, and it stuck.”
“And now there’s a chicken named after him.”
Seth grinned. “There is. We thought he’d get a kick out of it. I keep planning to take a picture of the flock and send it to the other guys, but I haven’t done it yet.”
“Do it. Caden would appreciate that you remember him, and that everyone would get a laugh out of it.”
Seth nodded, knowing he’d do it the first chance he got. It would be another step toward his own healing. He was finally ready to reconnect with his teammates.
They spoke for a bit more, and Seth asked more about Caden’s childhood, what their life had been like. He realized that in other circumstances, he and Blake could have been friends. Underneath the anger, he was a good man. When Seth stood to leave, Blake stood as well.
“Thank you for talking to me, telling me more about Caden. I’m glad he had you and the other guys looking out for him. I’m sorry again for what happened here yesterday. I didn’t have my head on straight.”
Seth held out his hand. “Seems like you do now. Maki would be happy about that.”
