Jasper was amazed.
‘Luis, why so deadpan? Give me a little clue. A wink, a nudge.’
Despite living in London for much of his life Danny had never heard of the crypt at St Etheldreda’s before. It was over six hundred years old, Jasper explained, a historical site popular with school visits while supplementing its income by hosting private events such as mock medieval banquets with wenches and cheeky lute players where guests feasted on roast boar and drank tankards of mead. For medieval-themed weddings, some grooms and brides dressed up askings and queens. Each to their own, Jasper pointed out, establishing himself as a defender of weddings in all their shapes and forms.
As they walked in Luis expressed his confusion at the urgency of needing to find a venue so soon when summer was eight months away. Jasper explained, ‘We’re not early. We’re late. Many venues are reserved over a year in advance. Remember, everyone wants the weekend slots and there are only fifteen weekends in the summer. It’s the reason that more weddings are scheduled in the autumn and winter. Too many people chasing too few places.’
Luis accepted this reasoning but remarked, ‘We don’t have our hearts set on any prestigious locations.’
Jasper widened his eyes.
‘I’m glad you feel that way because the famous places are already booked. Today we’re viewing more unusual places. But if I may be so bold – there’s unusual and there’s the bottom of the barrel, so let’s be deliberately unusual rather than merely late and last.’
At the musty crypt doors, Jasper stopped, raising his hands like an elegant traffic officer.
‘Before we begin, please remember that I have nothing at stake in your decision except your happiness. I work for you. I don’t take kickbacks. I’m happy to show you any location. That said, there is a luxury hotel chain owned by a foreign royal family in a country where they execute people forbeing gay and those ballrooms I won’t show. A puny act of protest some might say, but what kind of Red Jacket would I be without a few red lines.’
Danny asked, ‘Do many couples want those venues?’
Jasper lamented, ‘They’re spectacular spaces in storied hotels. Many couples are looking for validation that their marriage is special. I’ve lost business because of it. But it’s not much of a protest if it doesn’t cost you anything.’
He presented them with a pamphlet.
‘My associate put together these fact sheets on our venues today. Quick question. Do either of you mind marrying at the site of troubling historical events? Executions, torture, betrayals, murders – that sort of thing.’
Danny pointed out, ‘It’s not particularly romantic.’
Jasper sighed. ‘That’s so often the problem with history.’
Exploring the crypt Danny touched the sloping stone walls that were once palace foundations, his eyes following the colossal timber beams supporting the stone ceiling. Jasper asked, ‘Can you imagine your wedding in the same place that Henry VIII celebrated his marriage with Catherine of Aragon?’
Luis rebutted, ‘Didn’t that marriage end in divorce? And schism from the Catholic church?’
Danny observed, ‘Luis is Catholic. Being gay was his break from the Church.’
Surprising everyone, the comment provoked a heartfeltresponse from Luis who up until this moment had been largely silent.
‘I admit that it is hard for me to imagine a wedding that doesn’t take place in a church. When I was growing up everyone married in the church where they lived. Afterwards we celebrated in a local restaurant. There wasn’t a long list of eccentric locations to choose from. What am I supposed to think about this place?’
Recognizing the importance of the admission Danny asked, ‘What do you think?’
Luis addressed him directly.
‘We have no connection to this place. It means nothing to me. It means nothing to you. Are we supposed to study the history behind each venue, grasping at some kind of link?’
Hurt, Danny said, ‘Luis? We can’t get married in a church.’
Breaking the silence Jasper said, ‘A cathedral in Cádiz is beyond even my powers I’m afraid. And yes, we’re trying to find meaning and personality in one of these locations so that it feels connected to the two of you. That’s the best we can do. That is our burden. We must make our own meaning. Forge our own connections. There is another way to look at this crypt – it was the location of a royal union between England and Spain.’
Luis shrugged at the well-intentioned parallels.
‘It’s just so random and rootless.’
Danny wondered if anywhere could match up to the image Luis held in his heart – a simple Spanish church with a traditional dinner afterwards. When he’d asked Luis to try Jasper’s test, to close his eyes and picture the big day – the unobtainable scene of a Spanish church must have come to mind. He had refused to say it aloud until now. This wedding didn’t feel real to Luis.
Jasper asked, ‘Gentlemen, I hate to hurry you, but we’re on the clock. Are we getting married in a crypt or not?’
To avoid Luis being the one to say no, Danny answered for them: ‘I don’t like basements.’
