Sophie reacted sharply to that idea.
‘No one thinks you’re just two people living together.’
But Danny disagreed.
‘That is how it feels sometimes.’
Turning to the subject of the proposal, Sophie asked, ‘Can I give some advice? About the proposal? Make sure there’s no one watching, no band playing, no string quartet.’
Pondering the suggestion, Danny asked, ‘You think Luis might say no?’
Sophie was taken aback.
‘That’s not what I meant. Even if you’re excited and you’re going to say yes, you want the space to make the decision for yourself. You don’t want to feel like you’re being rushed or taken for granted. I have a friend and she was asked onto the London Eye by a guy she’d been seeing for a year. He had rented an entire pod, there was a team of people serving champagne and canapes. At the highest point he got down on one knee and asked her to marry him. Instead of thinking about him or love or whatever, she noticed that the staff were looking away, none of them were watching because they’d been instructed this is how to behave when he proposed. She realized that these strangers knew before she did. In that pod she was the last to know.’
Danny admitted, ‘My greatest fear is that it will feel phoney and fake.’
The waiter filled their wine glasses and cleared theirdessert plates. Once he had left, Sophie ventured, ‘Why did you ask if I thought Luis might say no?’
Danny shrugged.
‘I was reacting to what you said.’
Sophie shook her head.
‘You were reacting but not to me. Danny, you guys have discussed marriage, right?’
Danny’s voice became brittle.
‘I told you. Luis and I discussed civil partnerships as a possibility when the law was passed. Luis didn’t feel the need.’
Sophie pushed the point.
‘You’ve never spoken about it again?’
Danny thought back over the years. There were hardly any occasions when the subject had come up.
‘When gay marriage passed in Spain, we discussed it. He said the same thing. He didn’t feel the need.’
Sophie asked, ‘Danny? Is there a chance he might say no?’
Danny considered Luis’s many extraordinary qualities. He was an outsider from the south of Spain who through grit had made his way into an Oxbridge-dominated law firm, a man who saw photos of mountain ranges in Condé Nast Traveller and pointed to their summits and said let’s go there and they did; they stood at the point where his finger had pressed against the page. The truth was that if he wanted to be married, they would be married.
‘Yes, there’s a chance.’
Chapter ElevenThe Proposal
Danny arranged a hiking holiday in Scotland for the last weekend of August, following the West Highland Way. He and Luis would trek from the village of Milngavie, walking around twenty miles each day, and on the fifth – after the climb out of the village of Kinlochleven, with views across Ben Nevis, the highest mountain in Scotland – Danny planned to propose.
In preparation he browsed the Piccadilly bookshops flicking through titles such as Marrying on a Budget and Marriage Step by Step. Without exception these books were written with the bride in mind. Marriages between two men or two women weren’t discussed except in one recently added afterword which declared that the same advice applied whether you were straight or gay. A nice idea which didn’t ring trueto him. Purchasing one of the guides, he read it cover to cover in a café, over iced coffees and a slice of poppy-seed cake. In the section dedicated to engagement the author cautioned against proposing in places that were faddish or famous, recommending ‘locations with permanence’, their phrase, to symbolize longevity. Danny mused that since he and Luis had already achieved longevity this symbolism was superfluous.
One of Luis’s favourite pastimes was trekking. Arriving at the summit of a mountain he would sit on an outcrop of rock, reluctant to descend. Luis preferred the world above the clouds; Danny preferred the world under the water. As a couple they had hiked the Cantabrian Mountains of northern Spain, the Paramillo del Quindío ascent in Colombia and the Cerro Castillo circuit in Chile, adventures that Danny would never have dared to embark upon alone. Apart from a school trip to the World War One battlefields in France he hadn’t left the country until he was nineteen years old. He joked that he owed Luis the world, or he owed his world to Luis. Both were true. Since they often went on short breaks at the end of August there was nothing unusual about making these holiday plans, so Luis remained in the dark as to the real reason behind the trip; the surprise would be total.
To help with the logistics Danny employed a travel agency specializing in Scottish Highland walks. Though the trekwas self-guided the agency would arrange transportation of their heavier bags between guest lodges and book their accommodation, which often sold out in the summer. Danny had explained that they were two gay men sleeping in one room – not friends, colleagues or hiking buddies. He’d have enough on his mind hiding the engagement ring; he didn’t want check-in drama, twin beds, sniggers or side-eye. The agency was supportive; the manager could vouch for the guest lodge owners personally, claiming they welcomed visitors from all over the world. It was a strange comment, Danny thought, since being gay wasn’t a nationality, but he let it slide, listening as she reassured him that he and his ‘boyfriend’ would have the hike of a lifetime. Luis was almost fifty years old. Danny was looking forward to calling him ‘my fiancé’.
On Thursday 23 August, with a one-day head start on the Bank Holiday crowds, Danny and Luis caught the nine-thirty train from London Euston due to arrive in Glasgow Central Station by the early afternoon. After reading his Spanish newspapers, Luis slept for a time, resting his head against the window as the countryside rolled by. This was their first holiday of the year. A pattern had developed over their life together, the pair often arranging their breaks during the low season when prices were lower and popular locations were less busy with families, an arrangementthat had always seemed advantageous. More recently it had begun to bother Danny as though it implied unmarried gay couples were expected to keep a separate calendar. Perhaps that was part of the reason he wanted to propose on a summer Bank Holiday.
When Luis woke up Danny handed him a water bottle, dented from their expeditions around the world. He took a sip while Danny explained that they were north of Preston, closing in on Carlisle and the border. Luis asked about Danny’s disturbed sleep last night – he’d woken up in the middle of the night and cried out. Danny didn’t want to talk about his anxieties in case they hinted at the proposal. However, the nightmare, on the surface, didn’t reveal anything.
