He closed his eyes as he shuddered. Blood. Those wide eyes. Dr. Gordon pulling him aside, telling him he had a choice to make. Travis gripped the Bible in his hands.Be smart about this,the doctor had said a year before Gideon was born.You two have much to lose. Be careful.Travis’s teeth sank into his lip. He could almost hear Sophie’s voice audibly clear.I’m expecting, Travis. We’re having another baby.The joy on Sophie’s face had been immeasurable. Travis knew at that moment they would have a miracle. How could God take the life of a woman so happy?
He remembered Dr. Gordon’s frightened face when they told him the news.I told you two to be smart about this,he scolded. Travis argued with him, telling him he was wrong. Then Dr. Gordon shattered his excitement, saying Sophie wouldn’t survive the birth, perhaps the pregnancy.I can perform a procedure, one that will terminate the pregnancy. Sophie can live.Travis threw a punch in the doctor’s face after that disgusting and foul comment. Travis threatened to kill the man if he ever brought that up again, or anything to do with Sophie’s condition.
Even if Josephine learned about the past and still wanted to be with him, he’d be betraying another woman. He could try to care for Josephine, to be the husband she deserved, but he knew, deep down, that she would always be second in his heart. Everymoment they spent together, every touch, every glance, would be tainted by the memory of Sophie. He couldn’t help it; every time he saw Josephine with the children, he thought of Sophie—the life they could have had if only he had listened to the doctor.
What if Josephine became pregnant? How could Travis bring a child into this mess, into a marriage built on a foundation of lies and half-truths? How could he look his own child in the face and admit that its parents’ marriage was a sham? The thought of it made his gut churn with dread. And what if it all went wrong? How could he put his children through losing a mother again?
A soft knock on the barn door pulled him from his thoughts. He looked down from the loft, and there she was—Josephine, standing in the dim light, her yellow hair catching the glow from the lantern.Oh, blast.She was still wearing the black checkered dress she had worn to the church service, the one that clung to her hips, highlighting the outline of the form he had seen the night before.Why are you doing this to me, God?
“Mr. Blythe?”
Travis cringed hearing ‘Mr. Blythe’ from the mouth of the woman he married. “Yes?”
“I must speak with you,” she said with her whiskey-brown eyes peering up at him.
“All right,” Travis said, turning away to swallow the burn in his throat.
Josephine moved toward the ladder, and before Travis could stop her, she started climbing.
“No, no, you don’t have to do that. I’ll come down,” Travis said quickly.
He could no longer protest. Josephine reached the top, her hands brushing together as she steadied herself. A lump swelled in Travis’s throat, the sight of her standing there, so close, making his heart throb against his ribs.Alone with Josephine.He wasn’t ready for this conversation—whatever it might be—but there was no turning back now. Josephine glanced around, her head shifting from side to side as she took in his living arrangements.
Heat crept at Travis’s skin. He hoped it wouldn’t hurt her feelings to see how desperate he was to be away from her at night. What man in his right mind would reject sharing a warm bed with an attractive woman and instead live in a barn?
Travis pointed to his cot. It was the only place to sit down that wasn’t dirty. “Would you like to sit?”
Josephine nodded. She settled herself with her hands resting in her lap. Travis sat beside her, leaving a great gap between them.
“Mr. Blythe—”
Travis held his hand up. “Please call me Travis. I’m a little too young to be referred to as that.”
Josephine’s cheeks reddened, and she lowered her head. “Oh, sorry.”
“It’s all right,” he reassured her, his voice softening. “May I call you Josie? I mean . . . since the children are calling you that.”
Josephine nodded, pulling a lock of hair behind her ear. “Please. It’s what I’d rather be called, anyway.”
“Then why did you write to me as Josephine? I feel rather foolish introducing you as such.”
Josie half-smiled. “I haven’t been called Josie in a long while. It’s what my family used to call me. No one has referred to me as Josie in seven years. It feels good to be called that again.”
“It suits you,” Travis said. His breath seized.What did you mean by that, Travis?
Josie lowered her head again. Each time Travis attempted to be social, it seemed as if she cut him off with her wary looks. He looked at her lap, where her hands rested, and his stomach sank. Her fingers were trembling, and her nails dug into her skin. Washe really that terrifying to her? The thought struck him hard. He had never intended to make her feel this way.
“Travis, I have something for you.” She reached into her pocket and pulled out an opened envelope.
Travis took it from her, surprised by its weight. He opened it cautiously, and the breath nearly left his lungs. Inside was the money he had sent her—the cash that remained untouched. His eyes widened, gaping at her.
“You didn’t use it?”
Josie shook her head. “No, it didn’t feel right. I had plenty of money saved.”
Travis stared at the envelope, then back at Josie, running his hand through his hair as disbelief washed over him. The money he had fought so hard to scrape together to bring her here and keep his family from hunger was back in his hands.
“Josie, I-I don’t know what to say. You shouldn’t have used your savings.”
