Travis turned to Josie. “Are you ready to go? I think Gideon needs to be changed.”
Josie nodded. “Yes, I believe that would be best.” She turned back to Caroline. “Come by and visit any time.”
“You won’t be seeing the last of me,” Caroline said through giggles.
Josie turned towards the doorway, noticing most of the church members had left, leaving her nerves behind.
Travis sat in silence next to Josephine on the way home. The children giggled in the back, playing with Gideon. Travis glanced at Josephine, who was looking straight ahead, her expression unreadable with her hands resting in her lap.
He chewed his inner cheek. After last night, he wasn’t sure what to say or how to act. The image of her standing in his doorway, dressed in something far more revealing than he ever imagined she would wear, had been seared into his memory. Nearly torture to admit, but in that moment, Josephine had been breathtaking. Her beauty had caught him off guard, stirring feelings he had buried deep within himself.
But he couldn’t let that moment, or those feelings, take control of him. He had to remember Sophie and the promise he hadmade to himself. His relationship with Josephine was meant to be practical, a partnership for the sake of the children. He had never intended it to be anything more, no matter how his body and mind betrayed him. He tightened his grip on the reins, forcing himself to focus on the road ahead, even as the memory of Josephine lingered, making the silence between them seem even heavier.
Travis wasn’t entirely surprised that Josephine came to his room. In hindsight, he realized he should have set clear boundaries, no matter how awkward it might have been. That choice could have spared Josephine the embarrassment.
Poor girl,he thought to himself, his soul heavy with guilt. He rubbed his face with a sigh. Each time he tried to push the night away, flashes kept returning. Those eyes of hers, wide with humiliation, her perfectly shaped lips parted and trembling, a bright shade of red rising across her pale skin, blooming in uneven splotches that crept up her neck and over her cheeks.
“Why did you do that?” Josephine asked.
A sharp pang shot through Travis’s chest, nearly stealing his breath. His mind raced, just like his heart. Did Josie know what he had been thinking? How could she? Was it written all over his face? He rubbed the back of his sweat-coated neck.Take me now, Lord.
“What?” he asked quickly.Surely she’s not bringing this up with the children in the back.
“You lied to those women. Why couldn’t you have told them the truth?”
Travis drew in a breath, relieved that the subject of last night had been dropped, though the guilt about his lies remained. He hadn’t planned to lie in God’s house when he woke that morning. The falsehood had come over him suddenly. He had panicked, longing to save Josephine’s reputation. Josephine wasalready embarrassed enough for not being a proper wife like she probably hoped.
Did she hope? Had Travis accidentally led her to believe she and him would be properly wed? Had it been those looks he snuck? Perhaps the golden ring Aunt Polly gave him? As for her reputation, surely she wouldn’t want the world to know about their arrangement. Josephine, the mail-order bride—that was who she’d be before the town knew her personally. Yet Travis didn’t know her either. Josephine the mail-order bride was who she was to him. A stranger brought into his life by necessity, not love. That was the role she would continue to play in his mind, no matter how much time they spent together.
“It was to protect your reputation,” Travis said hoarsely, his mouth dry. “No woman wants to be known as a mail-order bride for the rest of her days.”
“But it was a lie.”
Travis stiffened. “I know.” He turned to her. “I’m sorry. If you’d like, I can correct myself and explain—”
“No,” Josephine interrupted. She lowered her head and wrapped her arms around herself. “You were just trying to do your best. Forget what I said.”
Travis’s wife grew silent again, but there was something peculiar about her. Why did she cower away from him so quickly, right when he wanted to set things right? Josephine slumped forward and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Travis turned away and snapped the reins. His muscles eased when the sight of his farm came into view, burying his odd observation.
Chapter Ten
Josiesatintherocking chair beside the unlit fireplace, bouncing little Gideon on her lap. Lillian and Jonas sat cross-legged at her feet, their small hands making wooden farm animals gallop across the floorboards. Seated at the table, Ivy hunched over her sketch pad, her pencil moving in quick, deliberate strokes, lost in her own world, avoiding the family gathering. Josie enjoyed spending time with the children, but she wished Travis was more involved. She could almost feel the space he put between them, as if her presence was something he had to escape.
She didn’t mind the distance when the children weren’t around, but why be distant again when she was watching the children? If they were all supposed to be one big family, didn’t the father need to be in the picture? They had gone to church together that morning, so why couldn’t they continue the act at home? Why couldn’t they be one happy family, even just for a little while longer?
“Josie, look!” Jonas exclaimed, his voice bubbling with excitement.
Josie lifted her eyes from the squirming baby in her lap, watching as Jonas made his wooden horse soar through the air with enthusiastic whooshes. A warm smile fell across her face. “He is one fast horse.”
“His name’s Flash,” Jonas declared proudly. “It’s the name of Pa’s horse.”
“I wanna ride Pa’s horse,” Lillian chimed in, still guiding a wooden pig across the floor.
“You’re too little to ride Pa’s horse,” Ivy snapped.
Josie’s gaze drifted to Ivy. “What are you drawing?”
For a moment, Ivy remained silent, her pencil pausing mid-stroke. Josie held her breath, waiting, wishing for something more than the quiet distance between them. Finally, Ivy sighed, her voice flat as she muttered, “Mountains.”
