“Please, call me Josie.” She pressed her lips together, forming a smile.
Mrs. Levingston pulled away. “Then you must call me Rose.”
Their moment was cut short when Reverend Levingston cleared his throat, patting his Bible. “Shall we begin?”
Rose planted a kiss on Josie’s cheek and squeezed her hands. “May God bless you both.”
Josie’s legs shook as she took the steps towards Travis and Reverend Levingston. However, when she glanced into Travis’ face, she realized she wasn’t alone in her feelings. Sweat glistened on Travis’s forehead, just like that day on a hot afternoon, except this time they were indoors. The thick walls blocked a cool breeze that Josie longed to flow through the closed windows.
Josie held her bouquet instead of taking Travis’s hands. Just the thought of touching him at the altar reminded her of holding the hands of a man twenty-five years her senior, his face marked by a deep scar that ran from his right eye down to his cheek. Before she met Marcus, she imagined him having a soft and gentle demeanor beneath that rugged facade. But she had been so wrong. Her head had been poisoned by romantic poetry nonsense.
She knew nothing of the world nor the true evil that happened during war. Josie remained at home, sheltered by her mother, who instructed her never to read those dirty newspapers. That innocence ended when she fought in a war of her own every dayin what was supposed to be her safe place, her home with a man who vowed to be her loving husband.
Josie kept her eyes downcast as Reverend Levingston began with a few Scriptures, unable to meet Travis’s gaze any longer. Shame fell over her like a heavy quilt, reminding her she was unworthy to stand there before Travis and God. Travis had no idea who he was really marrying. He believed he was marrying a young, untouched woman from North Carolina who longed for a family of her own.
That was a lie.
The truth would be impossible to hide when the baby arrived, healthy and full-term. Then he would know. And when he did, he’d lose all respect for her.
Josie bit her bottom lip. Maybe times were different. She didn’t like what she was doing, but she’d do it all for his convenience and her own. She’d hold up her end of the bargain, becoming a mother to Travis’s children while he provided for her and the child she carried. Bumps rose on her arms.But it’s still deception.
“You may join hands while you say your vows,” Reverend Levingston said.
Josie’s breath caught in her throat, exiting her thoughts. She had no idea what the reverend said beforehand, but those words—words about touch—brought her out of her little world and into reality.What are you doing, Josie? You’re making the same mistake. You hypocrite.
She closed her eyes. Her lungs contracted, her heart punching her ribcage.You must do this, Josie. Forget about your fears. Think of your child.Josie tried her best to soothe her nerves, but a small hand touched hers. Startled, she looked down to see Ivy gently reaching for her bouquet. Josie managed a smile, her tension easing slightly.
“Thank you,” Josie whispered. Ivy returned the smile, a faint version.
Josie lifted her chin, meeting Travis’s gaze. Slowly, his arms rose from his sides then extended towards Josie’s. His touch sent a shiver through her, but she forced herself to endure it, aware of the little ones watching from the front pew. She couldn’t let Travis see how broken she truly was. As his damp fingers curled around hers, she noticed the slight flush of embarrassment on his face. He was nervous too.
Despite her fright, Josie forced out the words, “I do.” She didn’t want to say them, but she had no choice. When Travis spoke, she noticed a slight stutter in his voice, a small tremor that assured her he was just as uncertain. This wasn’t about them—it was about their duty to the children, born and unborn.
Travis pulled out a gold ring from his pocket. Josie’s eyes widened.Gold?Travis was full of surprises. He slipped it around her cold, trembling finger. As Josie watched him, his lips pressed thinly together, as though he was fighting back tears.
“I now pronounce you husband and wife. Travis, you may kiss the bride.”
The thought of the kiss made Josie’s stomach churn. Holding his hands had already been too much, and now this? She could sense Travis’s discomfort as well; he hesitated, clearly unsure. Instead of forcing a kiss on her lips, he leaned in and placed a quick kiss on her cheek. At her first wedding, Josie hadn’t been given a choice—neither with the kiss nor with what came after. Now, letting out a steady breath, she realized that this time, maybe things could be different.
The children ran towards them, and Lillian hugged Josie at her feet. “I love you so much, Josie.”
Rose appeared at Josie’s side, separating her from Travis. “It was a beautiful ceremony.”
“Thank you,” Josie said, her cheeks warm.
Rose beckoned to the two boys sitting with the children, and they dashed over to her side without hesitation. She shook her head with a soft sigh.
“Boys, you know you’re not supposed to run in God’s house,” she scolded, pulling them close. Their wild brown curls bounced around their faces, clearly untouched by a brush that morning. Turning to Josie, Rose smiled. “Josie, I’d like you to meet my two boys, Paul and Andy.”
Josie’s lips curved. “Nice to meet you boys.”
“Travis’s children were very welcoming to them when we settled here two years ago.”
“Where were you from?”
“Missouri,” Rose answered. “My husband attended a seminary in Liberty. We settled in New Madrid, where he first pastored before here.”
“I spent a brief time in Missouri, and from what I’ve seen, it’s a beautiful state.”
