I grind my teeth against the pain from his long fingers digging into the flesh of my arm. “He walked into the wrong room,” I repeat with heat behind my words.
He steps closer, leaning in. The entirety of his eyes turn into a shiny black, like obsidian. “Did he see you? Did he see what’s mine?”
Fear for Owen prickles up my spine. “It was an accident. He walked into the wrong room.” I hold eye contact, refusing to cower.
“Did he see what’s mine?” he snaps, shaking me.
Another sharp pain rips through me. “You’re hurting me!” I snap. I grab his wrist, digging my nails into his skin. “Let go!”
“Hurting you? I suffer every day looking at you, longing for you. Every part of my heart and soul aches without you. Do you have any idea what it feels like to find a pubescent male child in here with you half-naked?” His obsidian eyes search my own. My distorted image stares back at me, reflecting my own grief and pain. “It’s like someone shoved a searing iron into my heart.” His deep gravelly voice breaks.
I rest my forehead against his chest. “You deserve better,” I whisper, afraid to say more.
He clutches the nape of my neck and pulls me back, forcing me to face him. “What I deserve? What I deserved was a chance to prove my loyalty, my devotion to you. I deserved a chance to show you that, together, we could overcome any obstacles. Instead, you pushed me away and chose a manchild over me!”
What the hell is he talking about? I didn’t choose anyone over him. Why would he think that? “It was an accident!”
“That was no accident,” he grits through clenched teeth.
A knock at the door interrupts us. Suddenly, Shadow disappears.
“Just a minute,” I call out in a shaky voice.
“I’ll give you a few more minutes,” Dr. York answers from the other side of the door.
I’m standing next to Dr. York as he shows me the X-ray of my chest. “You see these markings? They are old fractures. But these three here are new. You must have sustained them when you were hit yesterday. See how this one overlaps onto itself? This is called a displaced fracture. You may have done that when you fell from the rock climbing wall.” He sighs. “I’m afraid I have to pull you out of the program.”
My head whips around to look at him. “What? Why?”
“I know how much being in the program means to you, but the risk of you puncturing a lung is too high. Another hit or another fall… is all it will take because you can’t heal like?—”
“Everyone else. I get it,” I interject.
He grimaces, knowing full well that it’s a sensitive issue for me. “I can’t in good conscience allow you to remain in the program. I’m sorry, Jessica.”
Tears burn behind my eyelids. “You can’t. I need this. I need to be here. Please!”
Remorse crosses his features—that same look when he said he wanted to meet with my parents to discuss my lab results. “Get dressed and I’ll call Anders to meet us here.”
There is nothing left to say. I can’t bargain with him. I can’t promise to be a better recruit or promise not to get hit again. There's nothing I could do.
I simply nod. Furious with myself—furious at the circumstances—I kick the chair, sending it crashing across the room.
Chapter 42
Let Me Make This Right
SHADOW
Seven Years Ago
“Are you going to talk to me or are you planning on just pacing back and forth like that?” Emily asks, sitting on the hood of a car.
I stop midstride and scowl at her.
She shrugs and rolls her eyes. “I am on a date, who is, by the way, sitting by herself watching a movie alone in the theater.” She raises her eyebrows.
I run my hands through my hair, frustrated and angry at myself for allowing my shadow to take over when jealousy and rage consumed me. When I found Owen Kaminari in Jessica’s exam room, I lost control. I grabbed her. I shook her. “Why would she choose him over me?”
