“I can’t,” she whispers.
“So that’s it? You’re going to turn your back on me, not even give me a chance to tell you what I think or how I feel about any of it?”
Her head drops forward, and she sniffles. “I can’t. I have to do this,” she whimpers. Her pain and sadness intermingle with my own.
“At least tell me why you’re ending this, before we even had a chance to make it work.”
She wipes her face but still won’t turn around.
I push at her mind until I break through her barrier.Look at me, please.I need you to look at me, so I can understand why you’re doing this.
She pushes me out, severing our connection. Glancing over her shoulder, she says, “I got accepted into the guard recruit program, and you can have your job back under one condition. I must keep my relationship with you strictly professional.”
“Who told you that? Anders?” She makes no move to confirm, but I already know. “It doesn’t have to be like this. He doesn’t need to know.”
She rubs the sleeve of her sweatshirt over her face. “Yes, it does, Shadow. This isn’t just about the lab results or my inability to shift or have children. I have to do this for me. I can’t do this in a relationship. I need to do it for myself, by myself. I can’t keep relying on you or someone else to protect me, to save me every time I get into trouble.”
“Is that what Anders told you?”
“No. I thought about it on my own…”
“Just say it.”
“I won’t let you ruin your future plans for the guard recruits because of me. I’m not worth risking all of that. I want to see your dream come true, and I won’t stand in the way of it. It’s over, Shadow. Just accept it.”
Without another word, she runs down the hall. She doesn’t give me a chance to say more, to convince her she’s wrong, that Anders is wrong. She runs away from me. A pain I never felt before pierces my heart.
I think you deserve that drink now.
Chapter 34
It’s Only Ever Been You
SHADOW
Present Day
The sunlight of the early morning draws me from my sleep. My arm still cradles Jessica’s head. My other hand drapes over her hips. She didn’t move while she slept, not even to stir from nightmares that haunt her in her sleep. I surge with pride, knowing my presence kept the demons at bay.
I bury my face in the tangled mess of her hair and take a deep breath. She still uses the same shampoo. The soft scents of lavender and honey fill my senses. My cock stirs, remembering how that same scent glided over me every time she was near me, on me, around me. I remember how her eyes crinkle at the corners when she smiles or laughs. Those memories are all I have left of her.
Trailing kisses from the crook of her neck down to her shoulder, I enjoy the tingles of electrical impulses on my lips as I lavish her skin. This isn’t how I imagined our life together—separated by circumstances out of our control. Time wasstolen from us, time I thought we would always have. Fucking Resistance.
Anger flares within me, but I tamp it down by focusing on her body. I place my hand over her abdomen and grind my cock against her ass. My fingers slide over her silky shorts to the apex of her thighs. A gasp escapes from her lips as I begin to caress her center.
Her hand slips under my forearm, gripping my wrist, and she turns her face into the crook of my arm, exposing more of her neck to me. I continue to grind against her, and she pushes back, increasing the pressure.
Smiling against her skin, I nip lightly, loving the way she responds to me. I want more. I want her mouth on mine. I want to feel all of her. I want to see her naked breasts and feast on those hardened peaks. She hums as I massage her clit.
That fucking sound, that throaty hum, is all it takes. Moving my hand up and under her shorts and underwear, I slip my finger between her slick wet folds.
“I need your mouth, Princess. I need to kiss you while I make you come.” She barely has time to turn her head. Leaning over her, I crash my lips against hers, sucking and biting until she parts them. She emits another soft moan. Slowly and sensually, I fuck her mouth with my tongue, in sync with the rhythm of my fingers as they play over her clit.
I break our kiss to lick a trail down her jaw to a sensitive spot on her neck. She twists her upper body toward me. Palming my cheek, she brings my mouth back down on her own. Her other hand grips my wrist, holding it in place as I bury two fingers deep inside of her and grind the heel of my palm against her clit.
She moans louder into my mouth, driving me insane. I yank on the neckline of her thin camisole, snaping the thin straps and exposing her breasts. She gasps when I pinch one precious nipple.
“You know what those moans do to me,” I pant in her ear, grinding into her, searching for that perfect pressure. “Fucking perfectly wet for me, Princess.” Her head tilts back as I squeeze her breast and work that little bundle of nerves with my fingers.
