“Just say it, Dr. York. It’s better if we hear it now,” my father says softly.
His eyes cloud over with sadness as he looks at me. “With the sudden decrease in hormone production, I’m afraid that this means your body has stopped producing hormones naturally. If you were to completely stop the injections, I’m afraid that the current levels will only drop further. The potential ability to shift and one day produce children could be permanently lost.”
A small sob escapes me, and I clap a hand over my mouth. I haven’t told them that I haven’t been taking the supplements or the injections for the past two weeks. He just confirmed what I had already known. I don’t want to make another scene, but I can’t help it. I’m utterly devastated, as if someone took a hot searing knife and stabbed me in the chest over and over.
My mother wraps her arms around me, cradling my head against her shoulder.
Silence fills the room.
Dr. York continues, “We could consult with the specialist that I was working with. We could see what his thoughts are in this situation and what steps we can take next.”
My mother strokes my hair. “We’re not giving up. If that doctor can’t help us, I will find you the best doctors to rectify this. I promise you.”
“Shakti, she doesn’t need false hope right now,” Anders says grimly from his seat.
“Anders, so help me, after the shit you pulled this morning, you’re lucky your head is still connected to your body.”
I lift my head slightly to see my mother’s face. My father grins before covering his mouth to hide it. Shadow places a fist in front of his mouth to hide his own smirk.
“Shakti, she’s angry. She’s hurt. She’s been holding?—”
“Anders, I love you like a brother, but if you think fighting with a bull in a pen is life-threatening, you never crossed a pissed-off mama.”
I pull away from my mother’s embrace and straighten on my seat. “Please don’t fight.” I look down at my hands on my lap. “I don’t know if I want to see a specialist. I really don’t want to do any more testing or take any more injections. I just want to be sad about it for a little while. It changes plans I looked forward to, like being in the recruit program. I know shifting is one of the requirements. This news just came at a really bad time.”My voice cracks, heavy with underlying emotions about things I can’t say in front of my parents and Anders.
“Jessica, I only wanted to?—”
I cut Anders off with a shake of my head. “Anders, I know you want me to fight. But just because I don’t fight the same as you doesn’t mean I’m not fighting. Right now, I don’t have the energy or tools to know how to fight this.”
Tears streak down my cheeks, and I swipe at them with the back of my hand.
“I think I need some time alone,” I announce to the room before I stand up and run out before anyone can stop me.
Chapter 31
I Quit
SHADOW
Seven Years Ago
“Shadow, I didn’t expect you to come in today. I thought I told you to take the rest of the week off before we start on Sunday,” Anders says as I walk into his office.
“I just wanted to stop by and see if you changed your mind about letting Jessica into the recruit program.”
He sighs. “Have you spoken to her?”
“No, I haven’t.” She won’t speak to me. She won’t even answer my text messages. The only information I have is from Emily, who told me to stay home and not sneak into her room. She doesn’t want to see me.
“So, you’re here purely on your own?”
I raise my eyebrows. “Someone else stop by?”
“Yes. The twins were just here. Ean, Elias, Chris, and even Marty came in on his break from the dairy. Luke and Liam called yesterday and Charlie that same afternoon. Let’s see… Joe, Nathan, Shakti, Duck, Sixes, Emily… Should I continue?”
“I get your point. Did they all talk to you on her behalf?”
“No. They came on their own, or so they say. My answer remains the same.”
