This isn’t the life I dreamed for us. None of this was supposed to happen. The window rattles as my hand strikes it, grief and desperation surging through me.
I lower my head, sobs ripping through my chest.
Wade’s parting words from last night resurface in my mind.
“We’re going to have to work on a few things,” he says on a sigh. “It was never part of the plan for you to kill her. Breed her—possibly sell her to the highest bidder perhaps. Byron screwed everything up with his own vendetta to seek revenge for his missing son. I have to admit that I didn’t initially care one way or the other, as long as I got you back. But from what I witnessed her doing the other day, this changes everything.” He laughs. “We need her alive. She’s the key to the Resistance’s success, your success. For now, stay away from her until I can clear a few things up that Byron stuck in your head. Am I clear?”
Baby girl, what did you do? What did he see?
“I really hate you right now,” Emily says as she walks into the room and flops onto my hospital bed. “I’m lying to her. She thinks I’m going to Ryukyu with everyone else tonight. Did I also mention that you’re a piece of shit for almost killing her?”
“Yes, Emily. Yes! You told me at least a dozen times last night!” I snap. From the reflection in the window, I watch her flipping me off from behind. I spin around to face her. “Do youhonestly think, I wanted to do that to her!? Do you think I enjoy seeing the love of my life walk away from me, believing that I want to kill her?” I bang my head against the windowpane, wishing it hurt more than my broken heart. “You have no idea how messed up our head is right now. Tyler is broken, worse than when he was twelve. If I hadn’t finally been able to take over, hewouldhave killed her.”
“Canyou fix him? Fix what they did to him?” She sniffs before tearing her gaze away from me, “He was so close to being normal again,” she admits.
“I don’t know,” I sigh in defeat, “For now, Ihaveto take over and let Wade think he still has the upper hand. I can’t do that if Tyler is warring with his inner turmoil and transporting all over the place trying to kill her. He’s confused, lost in a jumbled mess of what is real and what is not. They fed him some serious bullshit between torture sessions. Instead of my memories filling in the holes and bringing him back to himself, it just made things worse. Our souls almost couldn’t realign.”
Suddenly, it strikes me. She realigned our souls. The appearance of a bright white light spread over our clashing souls as it did once before. Then, I was suddenly back to where I had always been in Tyler’s mind, sitting in the recesses, witnessing, watching. Wade must have seen it. How much does he understand about what she can actually do? My skin tingles as fear sends my heart into a frantic rhythm. No… no! I have to save her.
Spinning back around, I blink at my reflection in the window. My mind draws up a plan to keep Jessica safe. There’s only one way to keep her away from Wade; he has to keep believing that I want to kill her. She has to believe it, too. Emily’s reflection in the glass holds my gaze. The thought of what I have to do, and pulling Emily into it with me, causes the ache in my chest to spread, my throat tightens with nausea.
“I’m sorry, Emily. We have to honor our betrothal contract now that I’m reinstated as Young Alpha. We need to act as soon as possible. I’ll get my family back in order and settle things first. Then we’ll arrange for the wedding ceremony.”
“I hate this,” she mutters. “This will hurt her. She’ll never forgive me when she finds out. I was so afraid to lose her in the fight against the Resistance, only to lose her anyway,” she mumbles.
“She’ll understand when you explain to her why this is important,” I say softly, understanding her hesitation.
She tilts her head in contemplation. “How many shifters do you think I have to compel, to not tell her that we’re married? You know, like make them gag or vomit every time they want to tell her?” She voices the question, but it comes without any enthusiasm.
“I forgot how dramatic you can be sometimes. Don’t lie to her—it will only make things worse when she finds out the truth.” She shrugs; the worry etched into her forehead despite the casual gesture gives her away.
“Speaking of dramatic? Have you looked in the mirror?” I fight the smile that she always seems to bring out of me. I always liked how she could switch emotions at the drop of a hat.
I playfully narrow my eyes at her.
“Seriously, look in the mirror.”
Shooting her an annoyed glare, I move to the mirror by the sink. I stare at my reflection, at the solid black staring back at me, dark as my soul. I need to find a way to hide my eyes. Fortunately, when Wade was here, I could barely keep them open, the sedatives Tyler had been given weighing me down.
Before, when Tyler still had his humanity, I could partially take over—enough to mask some of the darkness I bring with me. But with Tyler like this, I have to assume full control. There’sno masking it. No hiding what I am. I need to figure out how to balance the two of us without Tyler losing his shit.
The door of my room opens, and Anders walks in. I retreat back to the window, keeping my back facing him.
“Hey, Anders,” Emily greets him. He doesn’t acknowledge her right away. I can feel his penetrating gaze, burning a hole in my back. I knew this was coming.
“Emily, I need to speak to Shadow alone.”
Emily stands, her head swivels between us. I can see the refusal to leave already building in her.
Anders begins to speak to her, but I don’t have it in me to hear what he says to her. I divert my attention to the couple being dropped off at the entrance instead.
The woman is pregnant. Her mate frantically rushes ahead and returns with a wheelchair, and he clumsily helps her into it. When she’s settled in, he kneels before her and kisses her round belly. She lovingly cradles his head. We will never have that with Jessica. My heart feels trapped in a cage of pain.
There’s a soft click behind me. Huffing out a breath, I close my eyes. I knew he was too calm over what happened, too calm to casually walk in here and strike up a conversation.
“If you kill me, any hope to save her is gone. Wade knows her secret, or he’s close to figuring it out.” He slowly limps in closer. His hands tremble as he tries to hold the gun steady.
“I told you to stay the fuck away from her! But you didn’t listen, Tyler didn’t listen, and neither did she!” I freeze at his statement.Tyler didn’t listen. Can he tell the difference? Does he know that Tyler, though present in my mind, isn’t in control? “I’m going to kill you and make sure you don’t ever return!”
