Confessions
DIMITRI
Six Years Ago
Istand in the dark watching over Jessica and Emily. I’m not trying to be a creepy stalker. I just want to watch over her and make sure she is safe. She stormed out of the training room earlier, looking ready to murder someone. I can’t say I blame her for the way she reacted. What Liam said was a low blow.
Elaine Powers is the poster girl for attributes that you don’t want in a mate. Whenever shit got hard, Skunk, Sodie, and I had an inside joke—it could always be worse if we were mated to Elaine Powers. The first time I met her, she came to our territory with her father to visit Grit’s parents. She cried and whined the entire time. She hated our territory because it was so dirty, and everyone in our pack was ugly. Even when she grew older, she was still the most spiteful girl I had ever met, taking after her aunt and uncle.
The sound of crunching gravel behind me alerts me. I sniff the air and catch Sodie’s scent. I haven’t had a chance to speak tohim alone since we arrived. He holed up in the conference room, while I worked with Christian, Damien, and the recruits.
I turn my attention back to Emily and Jessica as the Langhlan twins approach and sit down in the grass next to them. Jessica gives each one a hug. It fills my heart with happiness that someone like her, who suffered so much trauma, found her people. I rub at a sore spot on my chest. I wish Grit had that opportunity.
Sodie rests a warm hand on my shoulder. I tear my gaze away from the group. “I remember you telling me that the Princess was adopted. You didn’t tell me that she had the same color eyes as Grit.”
A crease forms between his brows. “D, I didn’t think?—”
I wave him off. “For a moment, I thought I lost my mind. I thought Grit was standing right in front of me. It took me a minute, but I realize it’s not her. There are too many differences, even though I kept trying to find similarities. I just fucking miss her so much. I want every girl I see to be her. I fucked up... and I just want to make things right.”
Sodie squeezes my shoulder.
“I know it’s not her, as much as I want it to be.” I look over as the group laughs. Jessica playfully punches Skunk, who recently joined them. I face Sodie, who watches them now, and then look to the full moon. “I won’t make that mistake ever again. I vow to protect the Princess with my life, for Grit. This time, I won’t let her down.”
Sodie nods. “Me, too.”
Movement catches my eye. Liam also stands in the dark, watching the group. I urge Sodie, “Go on. Go spend some time with Jessica. I know you missed her and your brother, too.”
Sodie gives me a sad smile, and I nudge him forward. For a long time, it was always just the four of us, until it wasn’t. Even though those days were rough, it wasn’t so bad when we hadeach other. I will always hold onto that. It kept me going during my darkest days. Sodie back in my life for the past year and a half has been the lifeline I needed.
By the time Sodie retreats to join the group, Liam is gone. I pull my shield around me tighter and follow Liam’s scent. I make my way around a bend of trees lining the forest that stands between Territory One and my own, and I find him sitting on top of a large, flattened boulder, looking over the cliff toward Territory Seven.
He’s lost in his own thoughts. I loosen my shield so he knows I’m here, but he doesn’t acknowledge my presence. I can feel his distress. I climb up on the boulder next to him. We sit there in silence.
I’ve never had a problem with Liam. He never once asked me how I ended up in a school on a magic island. But then again, he never says much or speaks about his past. Through Sodie, he and I formed an unspoken bond. He definitely wears his trauma like a shield. I wear my shield figuratively.
I revisit his comment to Jessica earlier. I think I figured out what’s bothering him. He fell in love with her. She’s now in love with someone else. I overheard the Langhlan twins and Odyssey giving her shit over it, when they thought no one was around. She vehemently attested that what she and Shadow have is real.
They planned to make it known when she finished the guard recruit program. I wish I could help him overcome the pain of his loss. Goddess knows how tortuous this feeling is. Maybe if he lets himself, we can talk about it. That’s something no one has been able to offer me—well, except for Luke. I just haven't been able to bring myself to tell him. Hell, he still thinks my name is Henry Chase.
“You want to talk about it? Might help to redirect some of that anger, instead of picking on the Princess.”
He doesn’t reply, but I see the tension in his posture build.
My mind drifts back to Grit, the way it always does when I sit alone in my thoughts. What would I do if Grit was still alive and she moved on because I couldn’t be the person she needed? I think of the numerous males she could be with in my territory. Anger and jealousy stir beneath my sternum. But what if she loved Shadow or Liam? What about Luke? These men are all better than me. They have integrity, something she probably felt I lacked.
After mulling over my thoughts, I continue. “I get it. I’m not sure, if I was in your position, I would pick on her, though. If the girl I love fell in love with someone else… I would be devastated, maybe even want to commit murder. Well, it depends on the guy, I guess. At the same time, a part of me would want her to be happy. I think I would have to accept it and walk away, especially after what I did to her.”
Liam’s head slowly swivels in my direction. His expression pinches. “What did you do?”
I let out a long breath. I never thought I would admit any of this out loud. “Not sure if Sodie told you. Back home, I was in love with a girl named Grit. Such an ugly name for such a beautiful girl. For a time, we were the best of friends. I can’t pinpoint exactly when it happened, but my father’s attitude toward her changed. Hell, it changed in general toward everything in his life, including my mother. Anyway, despite my father’s disdain, I did everything I could for her. Then, I had to choose between my best friend and the girl I loved. Sodie…” I release a long, slow breath, preparing myself to finally tell someone my story.
“Things were getting out of hand in my pack, and Grit’s punishments and the bullying were getting worse. My pack was threatened with their lives if they made any attempt to save her. Sodie and Skunk couldn’t take it anymore. They tried to get her out of the territory.
“When they were caught, Sodie took full blame, sparing his brother. My father and his Beta almost killed him. Grit and I pleaded for his life. The only way I could save him was by swearing my loyalty to my father and his Beta and cutting all ties with Grit. I didn’t want to, but Grit pleaded with me to do it—to save Sodie—so I did. I thought I could play both sides of the coin. That I could play the role my father expected of me and protect her at the same time.
“But I got caught up in the power I could wield in my territory. I dove so deep in the game I was playing, I lost sight of our goal and the promise I made to her. She told me so many times that… things were getting worse. I ignored her, thinking I still had control. A few days before everything went to hell, she tried to tell me…” My voice cracks as I relive the disappointment in her eyes. All because I was too fucking selfish.
“What did she want to tell you?” Liam asks.
