His face crumples. He drops his bag to the floor and kneels in front of me. He grabs my hand and places it over his temple. “Do it,” he whispers.
I open our mind link, and he shows me what he learned about his mother, Mimi—all the notes he read, the interrogation with his stepfather and his confession that he involved his own mate with the Resistance for money, all of my medical issues due to her involvement. My heart breaks. I truly loved her, and she tried to kill me and then use me as a science experiment. I drop my hand and close our connection. I don’t want to see any more.
“You’re innocent, Marty. Why are you leaving the guard?”
He pulls me into a hug and then wipes his nose with the back of his hand. “I can’t stay. When the other guards learn what my mother did to you, they’ll always wonder if I’m a traitor, too.”
“You’re not. I believe you. Please don’t leave. We need you.” For the hundredth time today, tears fall.
He thumbs the tears away. “I don’t want to, but Anders and I agreed that it’s better this way.”
“Where will you go?” I ask.
“Anders set me up with some people he knows. I’ll be fine, little one, and so will you.”
“Please don’t go,” I whisper before I throw my arms around him one last time. “You were the first friend I made outside of my family. You’re one of my favorite people,” I mumble into his shirt.
“You’re one of my favorite people, too.” He releases me and wipes at his face. “I have to go. Behave. Okay?”
I nod, wiping the tears from my chin.
“Promise me you won’t go looking for a fight.”
I give him a watery smile. “No promises.”
He pats my cheek. “Atta girl. Keep fighting.” He picks up his bag and leaves.
I watch his retreating back until I can’t see him anymore.
Outside of the training facility, I plop down on the grass. I take in the cool night air and bend my legs to prop my elbows on my knees.
Contemplatively, I review all the information sitting in my brain. There are so many holes in what I gathered. No one wants to tell me more than what I need to know, which isn’t a whole lot. Frustrated, I pull at the grass and fling the blades as far as I can throw them.
The Leads gave the recruits an option to stay or return home. They all stay. Luke and I argue tooth and nail with the Leads and our parents to let us stay and fight with our group. It’s the first time we agree with each other and join forces to support one another.
It works, but it isn’t a triumphant win, not something we celebrate. We’re putting our lives at risk and everyone around us because we come first. They have to protect us, even though we both feel like their equals. Concern is written all over everyone’s faces.
But I’m in this fight, and I plan to stay to the end.
We review some light training exercises in preparation for the Resistance attack. We have no idea if they will come, but they want us prepared. They divide us into small groups. The new special ops team—I haven’t really met most of them—work with the recruits and their newfound magic skills. We don’t have a lot of time to prepare, but it’s our best hope.
I stare up at the moon, full and bright. I asked her a million times, “Why?” She never answers me. Tonight, I don’t really want an answer. I just want to sit here and not think. My hearthurts. Every bone in my body hurts. Even the ends of my hair hurt. I can’t tell if it’s physical or emotional pain at this point. I readjust my sitting position on the cool grass and push out random thoughts in my head.
When my mind is clear, I allow myself to bathe in the light of the moon. I feel a tingling sensation against my scalp.Shadow?Tell me where you are. Tell me so I can find you! Please.
“Hey,” Emily says tentatively. I open my eyes as she pulls the hood of her jacket down, further covering her face. She plops herself down onto the grass, facing me. “Are you okay?”
The tingling sensation fades. “I just needed some air.” I shrug. “I was tired of Liam riding my ass.”
He pushes me almost in the same way Luke does, when he goads me into a fight. He struck a nerve when he accused me of being no better than Elaine Powers, that I was an entitled, spoiled, self-centered brat who uses people to get her way.
I want to rip out his throat. The hurt and betrayal feels like a stab to the heart. I pluck at the grass underneath me. “Is it just me, or did Liam and Luke have a brain swap?” I ask.
Emily lets out a breathy laugh. I expected this behavior from Luke, but he’s actually been helpful, giving me pointers, and talking with me. He even stepped in between Liam and me and took my side.
I undo my crossed legs and pull them into me, wrapping my arms around them. Odyssey told me about the pictures and videos they found on Beaver’s laptop of Tyler and me kissing. I’m not sure if that’s the bug up his ass.
Emily looks away, lost in thought.
