"I'm not going to take you up there and murder you," he assured me. "Woody isn't up there waiting for you either."
"I'd like to say that hasn't crossed my mind," I said slowly, "but…"
"As long as I'm around, Woody isn't going to do anything to hurt you," Leif assured me. "Come on." He squeezed my hand and pulled me toward the stairs.
"Are these safe?" I said, eyeing what were clearly temporary steps.
"Of course they are. I don't want to get sued," he said, grimacing.
Right, of course not. Maybe I could stop being paranoid. I walked upstairs with him, taking each step carefully. To my relief, they felt solid. Clearly whoever installed them knew what they were doing. Like Leif said, he'd be sued if they were rickety and someone got hurt or killed.
"We have four bedrooms up here," Leif explained. "And two bathrooms. This one is the primary bedroom."
He led me to a large space. This one actually had drywall, although it needed painting. Like downstairs, the floors were stripped back. The subfloor looked new, like they'd torn it all out and replaced it recently. Everything had that new wood smell.
"There's something about all of this that gets me going," he said, glancing around and sighing. "It's like endless possibilities,you know? The walls could be any color, the floors too. This could be a bedroom. Or a sex room. Right there in the corner, I could hang a sex swing instead of a bedside table." He pointed.
"Is that the plan?" I asked, genuinely curious. I'd never even seen a sex swing in person, but I was trying to have an open mind. It might be something I liked. How would I know if I didn't try?
"No, I think I might use one of the smaller bedrooms for a sex room." He gestured to the side of the primary. "You should have seen the bathroom before it was pulled apart. Everything in it was bright green."
I wrinkled my nose. "Bright green?" I liked the color as much as the next person. But in a bathroom?
He laughed. "Yeah, the bath, the sink,everything. The wallpaper looked like it was there for a hundred years. And…" He paused for dramatic effect. "There was carpet on the floor."
I grimaced. "Yuck."
"You got that right," he said. "You should have seen the stains. It looked like someone had a good time in there. Repeatedly."
"Ew…"
"I don't know if they were cum stains, but that was what they looked like," he said. "Don't worry, we threw the carpet out."
I snorted. "I didn't think you kept it so you could put it back in."
He tipped his head back and laughed.
"Why didn't I think of that? I could have saved it for your place."
I stuck out my tongue in disgust. "Yuck. I donotwant cum stains on my carpet."
"No, those are much better on the sheets." He grinned.
My lips moved but the words wouldn't come out.
I shook my head. "Are you planning on living here?"
"That depends," he said. "If it comes out the way I want it to, I might. On the other hand, I might be bored with it by the time it's finished and want to sell it. With a whole refurb and renovation, I should make a good profit on the place. It’s a nice part of town."
"Except for the last owner meeting an unfortunate end," I said.
"Except for that," he agreed. "I'll be putting a state-of-the-art security system on this place as well. No one will be getting inside unless they're invited."
"Would you invite Woody?" I asked without thinking.
"Only if he behaves himself," Leif said. He looked toward the stairs at the sound of a knock on the door.
"I think our lunch is here," he said.
