‘My grandson is very kind.’ Her eyes mist over. ‘He and his wife have invited me to live with them. But I can’t do that. Their house is on the small side. And I’m not too bad now, but I don’t want to be a burden to anyone in the future.’
‘Maybe it’s for the best,’ I say. ‘There are some really lovely residential homes.’ But I know they’re not always easy to find.
‘Yes, dear.’ She looks towards the windows. ‘But it won’t be the same as living here.’
‘Poor Mary,’ I say when I get back to the workshop. ‘She’s putting her house on the market.’
‘No!’ Lucy looks shocked. ‘She’s spent most of her life there.’
‘I know,’ I say. ‘But you know the size of the place. It’s too much for her. I suggested she found someone to live in to help her, but she said it’s too expensive.’
Lucy shakes her head. ‘What about your beautiful garden?’
The garden’s become so much more than about our business; it’s become a place of healing to me since losing you. ‘It’s her beautiful garden,’ I remind Lucy. ‘I can start again somewhere else.’
‘Unless…’ When Lucy looks up, her eyes are wide as she stares at me. ‘I have an idea.’ She goes on. ‘If she really wants to stay there, couldn’t you move in and look after her?’
I look at her, stunned. ‘Sell our house, you mean?’
‘Edie…’ Lucy hesitates. ‘I know it’s your home. And I know it’s filled with memories. But not all of them are good – and you don’t need a three-bedroomed house. And financially… since Ryan moved out, I can see in you what a pressure it’s become.’
I frown at her. ‘You can?’ It’s the first time Lucy’s directly broached the subject of my finances. ‘I’ve managed,’ I protest. ‘With the publicity we’re going to get from Elisa’s wedding, our business is going to boom. Long term, it will be fine.’ But underneath, I had my doubts. And if I hadn’t inherited some money, there’s no way I could have either bought Ryan out or survived this long.
‘You’re probably right. The thing is…’ Lucy pauses. ‘We’re already rushed off our feet when wedding season’s in full swing. If we get more bookings, we’ll need to employ staff. Yes, we’ll earn more. But I’m not sure how much more.’ Pausing again, she looks at me. ‘I’ve been thinking about it quite a lot. We work so hard, Edie. Sometimes I wonder if there isn’t a way for us to have an easier life.’
‘Easier?’ I stare at her. It’s the first time she’s mentioned anything like this.
‘Haven’t you thought about it?’ she says. ‘I mean, wouldn’t it be nice to have some money to spare – to go on a nice holiday, or treat yourself to some clothes?’
‘I can’t say I have.’ I look at her suspiciously. ‘What’s wrong with my clothes?’
‘Nothing.’ Lucy rolls her eyes. ‘As you know, you’re completely missing the point.’ She goes on, more quietly. ‘Every time you go home, I know you think of Lexie.’
‘It wouldn’t matter where I was.’ I would still think of you.
‘I know,’ she says. ‘But there are times in all our lives when we need different.’
Since moving back into our old family home, I haven’t considered selling it. And I have no idea how Mary would feel about me looking after her, or if it’s even a possibility. I’m not sure how I feel about it, either, but the idea lodges in my head, and I find myself unable to stop thinking about it.
Tonight, as I gaze around the rooms that have been my home for so long, that hold so many memories of you, it’s like I’m standing at a crossroads that has come out of nowhere. A crossroads from which my life could change.
Lucy’s right. As well as of Ollie and you, this house holds memories of Ryan. And mostly, they’re not good.
‘I’ve been thinking about what you said,’ I say to Lucy the next morning.
‘I know it was probably a non-starter,’ she says. ‘I mean, until recently, you’ve practically been Ryan’s carer. You don’t need to start being someone else’s. I just thought…’ She hesitated. ‘Like I said yesterday, change can be a good thing.’
I stare at her. ‘The funny thing is, I’m starting to like the idea. You know me, Luce. I’m never happier than when I’m cooking for people, or making my home look nice. But now, I’m only doing it for myself.’ I hesitate. ‘Also, there’s the garden to consider.’
As she looks at me, her eyes widen. ‘You seriously think you’d be OK leaving your house? I’ve been thinking about it, too. I wondered if it might be a case of too much too soon.’
‘I don’t think it would be.’ I’m oddly calm about it. In reality, what the house holds is stuff. More precious are the memories that will come with me.
‘What will you do next?’ she asks.
‘I actually think I’m going to talk to Mary about it.’
‘Wow.’ Lucy frowns. ‘Are you sure you’ve given this enough thought?’ She pauses for a moment. ‘You’ve had so much going on, Edie. I’d hate to think I’ve pushed you into something.’
