And Bo hadn’t even known it was happening. A sad kind of devastation passed through her at that knowledge, made worseby the look on Willa’s face, which wasn’t even one of happiness. No. There was nothing of the blushing bride around her at all. Instead, the look on Willa’s face was one of resignation, and suddenly, a new thought popped into Bo’s crowded mind:What about Berg? It’s meant to be you and him.
Willa, to her credit, gave another shrug. “I know what you’re thinking.”
“You really don’t.”
“I like Scarrow, and he likes me. He’s talented and takes care of me and isn’t, you know, addicted to alcohol or heroin or anything like that.”
Gently, Bo took hold of Willa’s hand. “Should I be happy for you?”
Willa nodded. “Yes. I think so. Scarrow and I have a real chance of making this work. It’s different to—” She stopped suddenly, Berg’s name in the air, before she squeezed Bo’s hand. “It’s different.”
“What happened with him?” Bo asked, still stunned by Willa’s news. “When you went to see him, what happened?”
“You mean Berg?” Willa asked, as though they could be talking of anyone else.
“Yes, I mean Berg. You, umm, were going to see him the last time we spoke. He had a new girlfriend. You were worried.”
At that, Willa dropped Bo’s hand. “I’m going to open the wine,” she said, shaking her head as she went through to Bo’s little kitchen.
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
“Yep,” Willa replied, though there was a hint of strain in her voice. “I’m not an alcoholic. That’s Berg, remember?”
“I remember.”
“Fucking Berg.” For a moment, Willa chewed on a nail. “The new girlfriend is called Kara.”
“Kara? Did you meet her?” Bo stood, walking through to the kitchen. Wordlessly, she handed Willa a bottle opener and watched as Willa pulled out two glasses.
“No. I didn’t need to meet her. Berg told me all about howwonderfulshe is.” Bitterness was written into every one of Willa’s words and Bo flinched to see it. “He said he needed to be with her, needed to be with someone. He’s been lonely.”
At that, Bo felt a knot of empathy for Berg begin to grow. She knew what it was to be lonely. Hadn’t known just how lonely she’d been until Max had filled that unknowing void.
“Did you tell him about you and Scarrow?”
Willa nodded slowly. “You can imagine how he reacted. He still thinks Scarrow is taking advantage of me.”
Bo paused. She’d had a similar thought herself. “Is he?”
“No,” Willa replied, but she sounded wary. “Look, it’s hard for Scarrow, you know? He’s brilliant, but new in this business, and I’ve been acting for so long now. People want to take my photograph. Scarrow can’t help it if he’s been snapped in those photographs too, can he?”
“What did Berg say?”
Willa made a noise of frustration. “Oh, just that he thinks Scarrow is using me to get ahead. He’s not though. Berg doesn’t know Scarrow like I do.”
“I should meet him,” Bo suggested, and Willa gave a small smile.
“You will.”
“Are you sure he’s what you want?” Bo then asked, and something in Willa’s face changed. For a moment, the mask of pretty indifference that Willa usually wore slipped, and Bo saw what lay underneath. It looked a lot like loss, regret and sadness.
She still wants Berg,Bo realized.She’s always wanted Berg, right from the day they met. But she can’t have him, so she’s settling. Settling for Scarrow Arlington.
It occurred to Bo that one day very soon, she might be in Willa’s position yet. Unable to have the man she loved, so settling for one she could tolerate. One she could possibly be happy with.
I’d rather die than settle like that,Bo thought, another new and entirely adult emotion running through her.If I can’t have Max, well, then I can’t have him. I can be sad about it, and I can regret it, but I won’t settle. Not ever. Not like that.
“I really want to be happy for you,” she told Willa slowly. “But you just don’t seem certain.”
