“Sorry, honey, but I don’t believe that for a single minute. Let me tell you something: I can tell the days when you’ve had a good time with him versus the days when you haven’t just by looking at you. When you’ve been with him, you come in here ready to take on the world. When you’ve seen him, you’re fullof energy and pep and no way in hell would you let me mix chrysanthemums with lilies and baby’s breath. So, sorry, Bo, honey, but he’s not just ‘somebody’. Not to you.”
Bo squirmed to hear the truth so pointedly spoken, and Ida frowned.
“Did you argue? Is that why you’re so subdued this morning?”
Bo gave a wry smile. “No. Arguing would probably have been better than what we did.”
“Which was?”
“Have amazing, passionate sex and then say nothing at all.”
For a moment, Ida stared at her. “Oh, what I wouldn’t give to be that young and stupid again,” she finally uttered with a wistful sigh. “Bo, you’re being ridiculous, you know that, right? You love this man, don’t you?”
Bo opened her mouth to say “no” before closing it slowly. Who was she trying to kid? Not herself, not anymore. Not Ida either. The only person she was fooling by pretending not to be in love with Max was Max himself, and after this morning, if he had the sense that God gave to a mayfly he’d probably worked out the truth anyway. It had been written all over her face, been obvious in the glow of her eyes, been evident in every touch she’d pressed on his skin and every kiss she’d offered his lips. With a start, Bo realized that Max probablydidknow she loved him, and that was what had most likely prompted his pained question at the end of their lovemaking.
What the fuck are we doing?Bo could hear his words in her mind again.Well, at least I was honest with him. I don’t know what we’re doing, and I especially don’t know what I’m doing, but I know it’s nothing smart or sensible.A smart and sensible person wouldn’t have got into this arrangement with Max in the first place. A smart and sensible person certainly wouldn’t have let themselves fall in love with him either.
She gave Ida a quiet nod, and Ida nodded back, somewhat satisfied.
“Tell him you love him,” Ida urged her. “For your own sanity as well as his. Turn this somebody into your someone, okay?”
“He already knows,” Bo said miserably. “It was written all over my face and—”
“Stuff and nonsense,” Ida chastised her instantly. “I’m a lot older and a lot wiser than you, Bo. Trust me when I say that if women had to rely upon men reading their faces to understand things we’d never get anything done. Don’t rely upon your face to tell him. Use your words.”
Inexplicably, Bo felt a tremor of fear run through her, even while finding the sense in what Ida was telling her. “It wasn’t meant to be a serious thing though,” she confessed. “It was meant to be a casual arrangement, just a hook up. He doesn’t even live here, Ida. He lives in Berlin. Besides, even if hedidlive here, he’s not interested in me as a long-term thing. Trust me, I’m nowhere near the calibre of women he normally dates. I’m just an ass he’s tapping over the summer.”
“‘An ass he’s tapping over the summer’? What a phrase to use in front of Holland’s best chrysanthemums.” Ida rolled her eyes. “Tell the man,Bo. So what if it started out casual? You fell in love. There’s no crime in that. I mean, it’s not like he’s married or engaged or—” Ida paused. “He’s not married, is he? Or with anyone else?”
Bo shook her head. “No.”
“Then there’s no crime in falling in love with him. None whatsoever. Tell him. Put yourself out of your misery . . . and maybe, just maybe, it will put him out of his misery too.”
Bo nearly scoffed. “He’s not in love with me, Ida. He’s been clear from the start: this is a temporary arrangement.” She stopped for a moment. “Also, the women he normally dates . . . they’re, well,betterthan me.”
At that, a hard look came into Ida’s eyes. “And just what do you mean by that?”
“I mean, Max’s normal choice of woman is someone who’s elegant, educated and clever.”
“And what are you? An uncouth peasant?”
“I might as well be. I spend most of my time knee-deep in dirt, I dropped out of school to pursue a career I hate, and next to Max I know nothing.”
For a long moment Ida said nothing, and Bo watched as she picked up a pair of shears and began hacking at rose stems. Finally, she stopped, looking Bo straight in the eye.
“You remind me of someone I used to know. Oh, it was a long time ago now, but I’ve never forgotten. She was pretty, smart and kind-hearted too. Knew everything there was to know about plants and flowers, just like you, and she was self-taught in them as well, just like you. You should’ve seen the eyes on her . . . grass-green they were and framed by the longest lashes I’ve ever seen.” Ida let out a frustrated sigh. “And then one summer, she let a man absolutely destroy her. Oh, he was charming, I’ll give him that. He was clever too. But he was cruel, and he cut her down and made her think she was worth absolutely nothing. It took her years and years to get over that. Years and years to get over him and his absolute cruelty. You,” she pointed at Bo with the shears, “sound just like she did, going on and on about not being good enough. Good enough for what? A man?” Ida scoffed. “You’re good enough, Bo. Good enough for him and good enough for anyone else too. And if he doesn’t think so?” Ida shrugged. “Well, he’s not worth breaking your heart over then.”
Without warning, Bo felt tears sting her eyes and she looked down quickly. Ida, as sharp-eyed as she was sharp-tongued though, came over and squeezed Bo with her gloved hands.
“Tell him,” she urged Bo again. “You’ll feel better once you do, trust me. Just as I’ll feel better when you tell me what I should put with these chrysanthemums.”
Bo hid a smile. “You said to put them with lilies and baby’s breath.”
“And I once said that Prince Charles would never be King and look how right I was about that,” Ida replied sharply. “So, tell me, what should I put with these chrysanthemums?”
Bo shrugged. “Asters and dahlias. Orange and pink ones, to set off the white.”
Ida squeezed Bo again. “You’ve such an eye for this. Such a talent. Now, you’re going to tell this man you love him, right? I don’t like to see you so unhappy so early in the morning. Especially after passionate and amazing morning sex.”
