‘I think he wants to end it formally between us,’ she said, as they approached an open-air champagne bar with several lively fire pits to warm the evening drinkers. ‘He just feels it’s wrong to do it on the phone.’
‘Has he given you any reason to think that?’ Meier asked, taking her elbow and guiding her to a tall table at the edge of the bar. ‘Or is it just something you’re afraid of?’
‘Both, I guess,’ she replied with a sigh.
After signalling for two glasses of Taittinger, he held the back of a bar stool as she climbed up, then took the one opposite for himself.
She looked at him, saw how focused he was on her issueand felt her heart expand with gratitude that he actually seemed to care. ‘I’m not here to talk about me,’ she reminded him, genuinely keen to get off the subject now. ‘So how about you tell me why you invited me?’
His eyebrows rose in a quixotic sort of way. ‘Why did you come?’ he countered.
She laughed. ‘I asked first.’
‘But it’s important for me to know the reason you decided to accept.’
She felt a stirring of discomfort, not sure if he was expecting her to admit to her attraction or if it was the furthest thing from his mind. In the end, she said, ‘I’m not sure you’ll like the answer.’
Clearly intrigued, he said, ‘Why don’t you let me decide? But I can only do so if you are honest with me.’
‘OK,’ she said, drawing out the word and tightening her hands as if bracing herself, ‘I – we, as a team … Actually, before I go there, I want to share a Connor observation with you.’ She didn’t really want to, just felt that she should.
Surprised, he said, ‘I’m listening.’
Cristy was already embarrassed. ‘He noticed when we were at Bryn Helyg that everyone there, guests excluded, has a biblical name, and he wondered if it’s mere coincidence, or if it has any significance …’ God, she felt stupid now.
Though clearly baffled, he actually gave it some thought, before saying, ‘But my own name is not …’ He broke into a smile as realization dawned. ‘Ah, Jean-Claude, J.C. And Maggi?’ he queried.
Cristy winced. ‘Magda-lene?’
He nodded, as though conceding a point. ‘OK. I’m thinking about who else was there now … Of course, Connor realizes you only met a handful of the staff, does he not? There are many more from all over the world, and I don’t think all of their names can be described as biblical.’
‘I’m sorry,’ she said wretchedly.
He smiled again, and this time his eyes shone with humour. ‘I am aware of the rumours of a cult,’ he told her. ‘They have long been circling, but I can assure you it’s not who we are – unless it’s how you want to characterize our community of highly qualified therapists whose only goal is the betterment of mental health.’
‘I’m sorry,’ she said again. She was deeply regretting getting into this now but found herself pushing on anyway. ‘There’s also the rationale you gave for the miracles. It seemed … I don’t know how to put this …’
‘Unusual?’
She nodded.
‘Yes, I realize my views can be seen as a little radical, maybe even sacrilegious to some and perhaps delusional on my part?’
She could tell he was teasing her, so she met his irony with a similar look of her own.
Serious again, he said, ‘After my parents’ deaths, I got into reading a lot of different things, some of it about cults, I confess, and often it was quite dark, certainly not always good for me … I was in a difficult place, you understand. It was during this time that I went to Qumran, in Israel, to visit the caves where the Dead Sea Scrolls were found. I’m not saying this trip was a wrong thing to do; in many ways it was, as you might expect, educational, clarifying even. While I was there, I sought out translations of the Scrolls, and they led me to various works that contain more logical explanations of the New Testament stories. This is where my understanding of them comes from.’
‘I see. So you don’t believe you were there at the time?’
He laughed. ‘If I was, I have no recollection of it. Which is to say, maybe we have all lived before, and maybe we will again, but I have no more proof of it than I do of Christ’s ability to create a feast from a meal for one or turn water into wine.’
‘So he didn’t bring Lazarus back from the dead? Or make a blind girl see? Or rise again on the third day?’
‘The first two are about excommunication and restoring sinners to the faith. The third is a more complex story of enlightenment, but a fascinating one. I’m happy to recommend some books on the subject. If you’re truly interested.’
Thinking she might be, one day, Cristy said, ‘You’re obviously very widely read, and I imagine you could educate me in subjects I hardly even know exist, but for now, I think we’re straying too far from the reasons I’m here.’
‘This is true, we are, and I realize not everyone shares my interest in the esoteric; it can be quite heavy going. So, perhaps you are now going to be honest with me about why you came?’
