Nicole seemed to like that. ‘Maybe it reflects my moods.’She smiled, and there it was again: that tiny flash of radiance. ‘But I’m scared of being recognized. No one will ever forgive me, no matter what I say or do.’
‘Do you go out at all?’ Cristy asked.
Nicole looked at her mother. ‘We go for walks, here in the grounds, and sometimes we drive to one of the villages for a coffee. I have a cap, and I wear sunglasses, even when it’s raining. Maybe I’m drawing more attention to myself by trying to hide.’
Maeve suddenly got up. ‘Where are my manners?’ she said. ‘I made tea. Will you have some, Cristy? Honey?’
‘That would be lovely,’ Honey replied. ‘I’ll come and help you.’
After they’d gone, Cristy turned back to Nicole and felt a wave of pity come over her. If this poor woman hadn’t harmed her twins – and it was easy to believe in this moment that she hadn’t – then the level of heartbreak and injustice she’d suffered was off the scale.
‘It’s Meyer, by the way,’ Nicole said out of nowhere. ‘You called him Major in your podcast, but his name’s Meyer.’
Stilling with surprise, Cristy let a moment pass, hoping she’d say more, but she didn’t. ‘Do you want to tell me anything else about him?’ she prompted gently.
Nicole’s eyes closed, and she seemed to hold her breath, maybe to stop words coming out, or was she waiting for them to gather? ‘He’s my reason to carry on living,’ she said hoarsely. Her eyes opened again, and she stared vacantly into the middle distance. ‘He’s Swiss,’ she said quietly. ‘Not French.’
After a beat, Cristy asked, ‘When did you last see him?’
Nicole frowned as she thought. ‘I think it was about six or seven weeks ago.’
So before her parole hearing. ‘Did he visit you often in prison?’
‘Mm. Yes. As often as he could. All the time I was away.’
‘Was that every month, or … ?’
‘Yes, that was how it usually worked out.’
‘Have you seen him since your release?’
‘No, I can’t. Not yet, but I will. He needs me to get through this … I can, because I have to. It’s the only way we can be together again.’
Wondering exactly what that meant, Cristy said, ‘He obviously matters a great deal to you.’
‘He means everything. And I do to him.’ She looked at Cristy, as though expecting to be challenged, but Cristy simply smiled, trying to convey an understanding she wasn’t close to feeling.
They both looked up as Connor came back with the equipment.
‘Are you sure you’re OK with us recording?’ Cristy asked Nicole.
Nicole rubbed her eyes, not seeming at all sure.
‘You don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with,’ Cristy assured her.
Nicole closed her eyes again and let her head fall back. ‘I want to see him so much,’ she murmured. ‘He knows where they are … He hasn’t told me yet, but he will. He’ll take me to them …’
Cristy felt her heart contract. She had to be talking about the twins. ‘Has he promised that?’ she asked carefully.
‘Yes. Yes, he has.’
‘So they’re still alive?’
Nicole pressed a hand to her heart. ‘They’ve always been alive in here. My babies, my twins … I didn’t kill them. I didn’t. He knows …’ She looked down at the mic Connor was unpacking.
Cristy said, ‘What does he know?’
Nicole looked confused, and Cristy sensed her withdrawing. ‘You’re trying to make me say things that aren’t true,’ she accused.
