‘I am now. Promise.’
Nicole remained where she was, behind Meier, and seemed to hug him tighter as Connor said, ‘Take it away.’
Nicole laughed, and Cristy decided to begin with the kind of question she didn’t usually favour. In this instance, however, it seemed fitting.
CRISTY: ‘Tell me how it feels to be back in the world after so long in prison.’
Nicole frowned as she thought. She seemed troubled, on the brink of tears all of a sudden, until she let go of Meier and threw out her arms and let her head fall back.
NICOLE: ‘It makes me want to dance, and embrace everyone, but Claude doesn’t like to dance.’
She was rotating slowly, dreamily, then shrieked as he suddenly scooped her into his arms. He spun her round and round, not so much a dance as a mad, joyous whirl, with her arms and hair flying and him laughing, until he set her back on the ground. Flushed and breathless, she gazed up at him in a way that was so intense, so private, that it was easy to tell no one else existed for them in this moment.
Keeping his voice low, Connor said, ‘Wish we were videoing this.’
‘Even if we were, it’s sointimateI don’t think it would feel right to use it.’
Returning to the table, Meier sat Nicole down beside him and put an arm around her, as if to keep her anchored.
‘Sorry,’ Nicole said, ‘I’ve spoiled things again.’
‘You really haven’t,’ Cristy assured her. ‘We’re in no rush; we can take as long as you like.’
‘But you did promise to answer some questions,’ Meier reminded her, ‘so let’s try again.’
Nodding agreement, she wound her fingers through his and waited for Cristy to begin again.
She decided to take a more practical approach this time:
CRISTY: ‘Did you come straight to Bryn Helyg following your release?’
NICOLE: ‘Yes. Claude was waiting for me outside the prison, and we drove here together.’
MEIER: ‘Your mother came too.’
NICOLE: ‘Yes, and she’s still here, somewhere, but we might soon be going back to the house on Randall Lane.’
A light seemed to go out inside her as she connected to how things were about to change again. So it seemed the joy, the relief and euphoria really were part of a mask to keep her in the moment, all no doubt aided by Meier’s careful counselling.
Deciding to explore the post-sentencing plans later, Cristy steered them back to her release.
CRISTY: ‘Were you surprised when you first saw this place?’
Nicole visibly brightened, although this time there was no mistaking her fragility as she turned to look at Meier.
NICOLE: ‘Not as much as you might think. Claude had already described it to me, and I’d heard your podcast series by then, so you brought it to life for me too.’
CRISTY: ‘What was the first thing you did when you got here?’
Meier laughed, and as Connor put his head in his hands, Cristy realized her mistake. She could have kicked herself.However, Nicole didn’t seem to think there was anything wrong with the question.
NICOLE: ‘The very first thing we did was go to see the twins. Claude had shown me photos of the grave before I was released, but I wanted to see it for real. So he took me there and we sat with them for a long time, didn’t we?’
Meier tightened his hold on her hand and brought it to his lips.
NICOLE: ‘We go regularly. It makes us feel close to them. We take picnics and storybooks – I know they’d be older now, but we still think of them as babies, so that’s how we speak to them. They’ll always be babies, but sometimes we allow ourselves to imagine the kind of children and teenagers they might have grown into and who’d they be now.
‘I think Noah would be a doctor or a scientist, a rock climber and skier, a farmer and a terrible dancer like his father.
