But her dreams had been of Axel and Nick.Together.And dreams of them making love to her.Separatelyandtogether.The dreams had felt too real, too intimate, leaving her waking up breathless and aching.
Heat suddenly pooled in her cheeks.She was pretty sure Axel and Nick had noticed her distraction at breakfast.She hadn’t known how to act around them.She’d barely been able to look either man in the eye.Hadn’t been able to help herself in the way she’d barely touched her coffee and had kept her replies short.
Maybe she should tell Axel what she’d seen?The thought made her stomach twist.Tell him that she’d watched Nick take Axel’s engorged shaft into his mouth.That she’d wanted to have both men touching her.Making love to her.
She blew out a tense breath as her pussy grew hot and her ass clenched with want.Confession meant vulnerability, and she wasn’t sure she wanted that.
A tight, restless energy coiled low inside her, impossible to ignore.Oh boy, how in the world was she going to get through today, if she was already wanting release now?She pressed a hand to her heated forehead.She was unraveling, and she knew it.Maybe she’d just go into the barn and have some fun with herself?
She was finished grooming Sunny, and well, she needed a bit of a break anyway.
Jenna released the horse from the post she’d been secured to.
Watching the mare trot off so freely made something in her chest ache.She wished she felt that light.Wished she felt happy and not judging herself.
Just like Axel had been last night.He’d been enjoying himself so much.The look of pleasure drenching his face made her want to pleasure him too.
She sighed.Axel had belonged to her in the past.She had planned to marry him.Have his kids.She had wanted a whole bunch of kids just like her parents had.
Sure, sometimes it had been rough having so many siblings.They fought.But her parents had never fought.They rarely disagreed.They had been in sync.
She had wanted a marriage with Axel to be that way.But Axel had screwed it all up.The memory still carried the metallic taste of fear.The night everything she’d planned for her future had shattered.
The familiar bite of anger shot through her as she remembered the night he had come to her apartment.
The night that had changed everything.She had known right away something was wrong.Very wrong.Had noticed his knuckles were bloody.He had a black eye.And bruises all over his face and knuckles.It was obvious he had been in a fight.
“I think I killed someone tonight,” Axel had told her.
At first she hadn’t believed what he was saying.He had said it so coolly, as if it was just a conversation.But looking back at it now, he had been in shock.
“I went after the men who crippled my dad.Beat the crap out of two of them.But the third, I think I might have killed him.I didn’t stick around to find out.”
She had urged him to go to the police.She had told him she would help him.But she hadn't.Not really.Guilt flickered.She’d replayed that night a thousand times, rewriting her choices, rewriting fate.
She had been naive thinking that they would give him an involuntary manslaughter charge because he hadn't gone there to kill.But he’d hit one of them and the man had fallen and smashed his head on the concrete.He had been dead instantly.
And Axel had run without so much as calling 911.Had he called for help, things might have gone differently.But he had panicked and come home to her for help, and she’d told him to turn himself in.
A man had died.The man’s family had mourned.Axel’s parents and siblings had mourned the loss of Axel.She had mourned for losing Axel.For years she’d thought only about herself.Had wished she had told him to keep his mouth shut.How could she have been so stupid as to risk losing him?And shehadlost him…lost him to another man, it seemed.
She inhaled deeply, pushing the past back into its box.She couldn’t drown in it today.The past was in the past.She needed to remember that.That was then.This is now.
As she headed toward the barn, she realized the early morning sunshine had seriously chased away the morning chill that had hung heavy over the ranch.Now, its golden rays beat down upon her with heat, the sun causing the fabric of her clothing to cling to her skin, making her acutely aware of every shift of her body.
She lifted her cowboy hat off her head and swept up her hair, tucking the hair with a practiced flick, trying to tame more than just the loose strands.
Then she dropped her hat on her head trapping the strands in an updo but that did little to cool the heat creeping through her at what she’d seen last night up in that loft.No matter how hard she tried, the images of what she’d seen clung to her.They were vivid, forbidden, and impossibly tempting.
She rolled her shoulders, trying to ease the tension and just as she was about to reach out and push the barn door inward, the door groaned open and before she knew what was happening she bumped right into Axel who was just coming outside.The sudden impact jolted her nerves like a spark.It was too close, too fast, too much.The collision had her scrambling and her boot caught on the door jamb tripping her.
“Hey, woah,” he shouted as she was suddenly toppling backward.
He caught her by her shoulders, stopping her from a fall, but it happened so quickly that she was flung forward against him and her palms slapped hard against his chest.His hands were damp on her.He must have washed them in the sink in the tack room and despite their wetness, they felt like two scorching branding irons on her flesh as he held her and his beautiful brown eyes locked onto hers like two heat seeking missiles.
How had she lived without this man for so many years?Her inner mind questioned her as she reacted to his touch.The heat of his body seared through the thin fabric of her shirt, and his thumbs pressed into the dip just above her collarbone, anchoring her.
“Easy there, baby doll,”he murmured, his voice low and rough.
