“I do like this side of her.Very sexy,” Nick said.
Axel grinned in response but kept his thoughts to himself.He was well aware of Nick’s interest in Jenna, and he suspected it wouldn't be long before Jenna realized it too.
He could hardly wait to see her reaction!
* * * * *
Jenna hit the trail with Midnight, the hot, humid rush of air against her face made her feel freer than she had in awhile.With her baby safe, nestled inside her abdomen as they rode, she felt a flutter of relief.Riding was something she hadn’t realized she’d been craving today.She remembered asking her nurse practitioner, almost the moment she’d found out she was pregnant, if she’d still be able to ride.Riding meant control, escape, and a place to breathe.
Now, as Midnight’s steady gait carried her along the green trail and deeper into the woods, Jenna let herself replay what had just happened back at the house.A half-smile tugged at her lips, thinking about the shock on their faces when she’d shown them her rifle.She hadn’t wanted to be so brazen, but she’d needed to be clear.
Relief flooded her again, stronger this time, that there’d been no argument.Axel’s easy acceptance of the walkie talkie, no judgment or questions, lingered in her mind and made her feel seen in a way she hadn’t expected.
But as the house disappeared from view, Jenna’s relief gave way to a prickle of anxiety.The woods pressed in close around them, the quiet was almost too much after the tension.
She reminded herself, fiercely, that she hadn’t lied to the guys.She would shoot first if she had to.Protecting her baby was the line she wouldn’t let anyone cross.The thought of keeping her baby safe no matter what, didn’t scare her; it steadied her, gave her purpose.
The scent of pine hung heavy in the muggy air as Midnight picked her way along the meandering dirt path she and Tim had created.
There had been good times in her marriage.He had helped her on occasion in marking trails and helping train the horses.Usually it happened when she was away working.
It was as if he’d been doing things in secret so he could get a happy reaction out of her.So he could be validated by her, instead of doing the job of validating himself.
Jenna reached down and patted the mare’s neck, grateful for her calm nature.She tried to focus on the familiar rhythm of the ride, mentally reviewing her training notes for each horse at Bear Valley Ranch.She and Tim had always kept the herd small, just enough for the two of them to manage.But with Axel and Nick’s help, that could now change.Maybe…she let herself imagine for a moment too that she and her child could truly build a life here, one with room for her to grow and heal.
She realized then, through the ache of loss, that she wasn’t alone anymore.She’d lost Sam and Tim, but now there was Axel and Nick.It was unexpected, but real and a small hope flickered, fragile but alive.
Upon thinking of Sam and Tim, grief rose up sharp and sudden.She remembered Sam’s excitement with her baked goods, his eyes so bright and cheerful it could lighten her hardest day.She saw Tim’s steady hand as he guided a nervous horse off the trailer and into their yard.The way he’d whisper calmly and never rushing.
Those memories pressed against her chest until the tears came.Jenna didn’t try to stop them.She let the sorrow wash through her, let herself cry for what she’d lost, for the old life that would never return.
This, more than anything, was why she needed to be alone today.To grieve Sam and Tim, without holding back.
Grieving hurt.It was relentless and gnawing through her every fibre.But after losing her parents, Jenna knew there was no way around it.She had to move through the pain, let it engulf her, until it finally loosened its grip, which of course took time.
It didn’t feel good, not for a second, but she trusted the process that worked for her and she knew that eventually, she wouldn’t be so sad, just like it had been with her parents.
* * * * *
“That woman of yours is one hard worker,” Nick remarked to Axel, nodding towards Jenna as she led her third horse into the barn.His voice had dropped instinctively, even though Jenna was far out of earshot, as if the compliment held a secret significance between them.
The two men had paused for a break, sitting side by side in the relentless sunshine atop the boards they’d fastened to the roof brackets.Their water bottles, slick with condensation, were cool in their hands.It was a small relief from the late morning heat.
Nick noticed Axel’s lips curl into a pleased smile at his words as they kept an eye on the barn.The pleased curl of Axel’s mouth sent a warm ache through Nick’s chest.He loved seeing Axel proud of her.
“She always has been a hard worker.She comes from good stock.Her parents were the best couple I ever met.They were kind-hearted, gentle.I never saw them argue, not once.It was like they shared some secret language, always knowing what the other felt.Being around them, you just felt embraced.You know what I mean?”Axel’s tone was soft, as if he were lost in the memory of Jenna’s family.
He didn’t answer that question.At least, not out loud.
Instead, Nick nodded, gripping his water bottle tighter, the plastic crinkling under the pressure of his hand, grounding him as his own old memories were stirred up like ghosts.He watched the sunlight shift across the grass swaying gently around the barn, turning Axel’s words over in his mind.
Embraced.Did he know what that felt like?
The description hit him like a foreign language.Gentle, kind, arguing-free parents were something he’d only seen on TV.A hollow ache opened inside him.He’d spent his whole life needing that feeling of being wanted and never quite finding it.
Instead, Nick focused on the twinkling beads of water dripping from his bottle.Axel was the only person who had ever made him feel like he truly belonged to someone.The truth of it settled heavy in his chest.Yes, it had been a rough beginning between the two of them behind bars, but he’d come to realize that Axel had been his anchor in a world that had never wanted him.
He kept those thoughts to himself, letting the quiet between them speak volumes.
