Her baby was okay.
Then Jenna had told her about her arousal toward Axel and Nick, fully expecting Charlotte’s mouth to drop open in shock, but it didn’t.Instead, she’d smiled in that gentle way of hers that made Jenna so glad she had come here today.
Jenna’s voice dropped to a whisper, as if saying it too loudly might make it more real.
“These feelings are so intense and overwhelming, almost uncontrollable.I practically threw myself at Axel when we kissed and I was feeling quite attracted to Nick too when I was tending to his head injury.These feelings just came on so suddenly when the two of them just showed up.”
“All part of widow’s fire,” Charlotte reassured, her green eyes sparkling, giving Jenna a reassuring nod.
Jenna blinked, stunned.The idea that her chaos had a name felt both comforting and humiliating.
“But how do I handle this?”
“You can’t.If you feel you can handle any guilty feelings then you should do what feels right.Some professionals say sex can be a coping mechanism for grief, though it can sometimes hinder the healing process,” Charlotte replied in a serious tone.
Heat crept up her neck.she hated the idea of her body steering the ship while her mind scrambled to keep up.She prided herself in having the utmost control over everything, but since Sam had gone away and Axel and Nick had shown up, everything just felt topsy turvy.
Charlotte placed her hand over Jenna’s hand and squeezed gently.
“Loss creates a deep void, and sex can be your body’s way of filling that emptiness.Add pregnancy to the mix, the hormonal changes increase blood flow and increase sensitivity in your body.”
“Lovely.Two strikes against me,” Jenna tried to joke, not really finding this situation she was in at all funny.
“Hey, look on the bright side, no need for contraceptives.”
“Well, there’s that,” Jenna muttered.Her stomach fluttered.Not from fear, but from the dangerous spark of possibility.
Nope.No way.There was no way she was going to have sex.No way.
“Having said that, if you do decide to give into your feelings, safe sex would be best under the circumstances due to them having recently been in prison.”
Jenna nodded.No, she wasn’t going to have sex with either men.
“Okay, by the severe frown on your face I can see you’ve got something else on your mind.Did you want to share?”
Gosh, Charlotte was so perceptive.
Too perceptive.
Jenna’s face flushed hot and her fingers twisted in the paper gown, the confession clawing its way up before she could stop it.
“I not only want sex with my ex, but I also want to have sex with his friend.Both of them.At the same time.But I can’t do anything because I’m worried about the baby,” she confessed, not really believing she’d just admitted to the naughty fantasies she’d been having.
Naughty fantasies that had kept her sleeping late this morning.
Much to Jenna’s relief, Charlotte remained professional.The lack of judgment in Charlotte’s eyes steadied her, like a hand on her back guiding her through a storm.
“As long as everyone is careful and they are free of sexually transmissible diseases, the baby will be safe.As your pregnancy progresses, you may not want to have sex as often.The most important thing is to do what you feel is right.”
Jenna nodded, grateful for Charlotte’s wisdom, empathy, and support.
It was Charlotte’s time to frown as she continued.
“Hmm, from what I remember you telling me about Axel, there were a lot of unresolved feelings when he pushed you away because he went to prison.Those feelings have been buried inside of you too and now he’s back.So, you’ve got widow’s fire, pregnancy hormones, and unresolved feelings.Is it any wonder you are overwhelmed, Jenna?”
Suddenly everything clicked into place.The grief, the hormones, the unresolved love.It was messy, but yeah, it finally made sense.
“A triple whammy,” Jenna said and she couldn’t help but chuckle at her own joke.And damned if she didn’t feel better knowing now what was going on.She wasn’t mad or a sex-starved idiot.
