“I’m sorry,” I choked out. “I-I don’t have an excuse for any of it. I’m just a bad father. I would apologize a million times over if I thought I could make a difference in your life or your brother’s life. I am so sorry if I made you do this to escape.”
“It’s more than that,” he said. “I… I love Natalia. I knew that I’d either have to die or join the Bratva. I could do neither. I would never betray my roots, but I was left with no choice. Then Matteo took Nattie from me anyway.”
“He kept her safe,” I whispered.
“He forced her to suck off Dominic,” he said sourly.
I breathed out. He wasn’t wrong.
“He did,” I agreed. “He was lost for a long time, but he has gotten better. I promise he is not the same man he was before. He’s changed. Or is changing.”
“I don’t forgive him for what he did,” he said firmly. “And you by default.”
I nodded, my throat tight. “I understand. Just know that I love you, and I truly am sorry for not being the best father. For forcing the trauma on you because I was trying to escape it myself. I-I don’t know how else to show my remorse.”
“I believe you.” He reached out and rested his hand over mine. “I do. I know it’s been hard on you, but this is your chance to be better. I mean, if you decide to take it.”
“I want to take it,” I said. “I want to make things right.”
“You know it’s hard for Levin and me, right? What with you helping Matteo, taking Bianca, the countless other shit, killing Mom, and all?—”
“I didn’t kill your mother,” I said, my voice hoarse. “I-I didn’t do it.”
“What? Levin saw you?—”
I breathed out. It was now or never.
“She killed herself. I found her. I picked up the knife as Levin came in. I knew what it looked like, but I didn’t have the heart to tell you boys that your mother…”
“Never wanted this life? Didn’t love us enough to stay?” He finished sadly.
“Yes.” I wiped away the few rogue tears that had fallen. “Levin was young. I didn’t want him to know.”
“But you became cold to him after. Even to me.”
“I know. I was fighting my own demons. It’s not an excuse. I just know I messed up. I’m a monster.” I said to him, explaining to him everything I’d told Rosalie about how I hardened to keep them away from me. To make them stronger so they wouldn’t hurt too.
“I understand if you do not want to have a relationship with me. I accept this, but please, take care of Levin. He needs you. He always looked up to you.”
“He loves you, too. You know that, right? He’s harder than I am, but that’s because he’s more like you than like Mom. I sort of take after her in that respect. Little soft and wear my emotions on my sleeve.”
I nodded, my throat tight again.
“Call Levin. Talk to him. He’s rough around the edges. Believe me, he let me have it when he found out I was alive.” He shook his head. “But I’m like you in a way, too, I guess, because I did what I did to keep people safe. Of course, my way was probably a little better.”
“Dying is never better,” I muttered. “We were in hell without you. Levin was in hell, and I believe he still lives there because of things I’ve done.”
“He’s doing OK. I promise he is. He has a family he loves, and a girl he’s head over heels for.”
“Which we have,” I said with a sigh, rubbing my eyes.
“Which you’ll give back because it’s the right thing to do. Bianca is a good girl. She’s sweet and has a family who adores her. She deserves to be happy and with them.”
“I know she does,” I said. “It’s Matteo. He listens to Sylar and won’t relent on it. Believes everything he’s told.”
I paused for a moment as Stefan studied me.
“I listen too, I suppose.”
