I’d stopped by Matteo’s to try to rest, but I’d ended up in the study, drinking myself stupid.
“Where’s Matteo?” Alessandro demanded as he swept into the room. I noticed his knuckles were busted to piss, so that meant he was doing what I’d been doing only hours before.
“He and Alessio had some business to tend to.” I looked back at the wall. I’d barely said two words to Alessandro since he learned I’d been fucking the woman he loved.
I didn’t have words for him other than I was sorry, and I knew he didn’t give a shit about my sorrow.
“And you didn’t go?”
“No.” I polished off my third glass of whiskey.
Alessandro came forward and sat with me at the bar.
“How is Bianca?” he asked.
“Miserable. Babies are due soon,” I muttered. She was ready to pop any day now. The doctor had been here earlier to say it was almost time and that he would induce soon if she didn’t go into labor. It was one of the reasons I was there while Alessio and Matteo were out.
Baby duty.
I’d yet to go upstairs and check on her, but I figured she was fine since an hour ago, Matteo said she was.
I grunted and poured another drink.
“Do you love her?” Alessandro’s words were soft.
I said nothing as I drank slowly and stared at the wall in front of me. I didn’t know how to answer the question. I knew the first time I said I loved someone, I wanted it to be to that person, though.
“What is love?” I asked finally.
“Don’t bullshit me,” Alessandro replied. “This entire thing is fucked up. You knew how I felt?—”
“So did you. You knew how you felt.” He finally looked over at me. “And you chose Bianca.” I sighed and rubbed my eyes.
“I’m trying to save her?—”
“From what? Carmine?” I snorted and drank again. “You really don’t know your father, do you?”
“How could I? He was taken from me before I could.”
I didn’t say more. It wasn’t my place. Matteo needed to sit and speak to him, though.
“Just answer me. Do you love her?”
I hesitated for a moment before speaking.
“I don’t even know what to call this feeling. Love. Obsession. Madness. It all blurs together. All I know is that she’s gone, and something inside me is tearing itself apart. Every breath burns with the thought of her not being safe. It’s like my heart learned to beat for her, and now that she’s missing, it’s punishing me for every time I don’t find her. It happened so fast and became so all-consuming that I’m just… afraid.” I drank once more before I looked at him. “Is that love, Alessandro?”
“Yes,” he whispered. “That’s love.”
I let out a soft hiss. So this was what love was like. It sure fucking hurt.
“She loves you,” I said, saying what I knew to be true.
“I think she loves you, too,” he muttered.
I was surprised at his reply. I didn’t expect him to tell me such things.
“What will we all do? Share her?” I asked with a grunt. I didn’t expect him to say yes. He was not Evan. Evan seemed far more accepting of sharing, and since he and Alessandro seemed close, I figured Alessandro would accept joining them if it was offered once everything was out on the table.
