“Okay?” It comes out more of a question.
“Here.” Miss Mitchell takes a diaper bag and hands it over to me. “There are a few things in there that his foster family said he loves.”
“Okay.”
“My card is also here if you have any more questions.” She eyes me for a moment before turning on her heel and leaving.
“That’s it?” I shout after her.
“You’re the baby’s father. That’s all there is to it.”
Shit. I thought she’d be here for a while longer. She’s not going to wait and let him get settled?
“Here’s what we’re going to do.” Harper snaps into action. “Jasper, tell everyone to go home. Party’s over. Marcus, we still have one of the cribs at home from the girls. Go home and bring it and any of Jamie’s old baby clothes with you.”
“I thought we were saving those just in case?” Marcus asks.
“Doesn’t matter. Bode needs them more.”
“Got it.” Marcus pecks Harper on the cheek and is out the door.
“Now, Bode.” Harper turns her attention on me. “You need to meet your son.”
“Oh God.”
I’m freaking out. Every cell in my body feels like it’s on fire. Whatever happy, buzzy feelings I had earlier walked out the door when Miss Mitchell walked in with this kid, uh, I mean Caleb.
Harper pulls him out of his carrier and cradles him to her chest. He coos. Of course he does. Everyone loves her.
“Hi, sweetheart. Aren’t you a little cutie?” Harper fusses over him as she walks him to me. “Are you ready to meet your dad?”
She passes him over to me, and I take him in my hands, not quite sure how to hold him. Caleb is eyeing me with contempt. Can a baby even look at someone like that? If they can, he definitely is.
“How old is he?” I ask. I don’t know if I’ve ever held a baby before. Fuck. That makes me feel pathetic. I mean, I must have held Jamie at some point, right?
“The paperwork you just signed says seven months.” Harper grabs my shoulders and steers me deeper into my living room, guiding me to sit on the couch. “You need to hold him against your chest.”
“Uh, right.”
Bringing him closer, he smells like a baby. Clean, like a soft powder. He gives me a gummy smile. At least he looks happy.
I’m trying to grab on to any memory of his mother, but I can’t. The harder I try, the worse I feel.
God, I really am a dick. That’s becoming more and more clear the longer I sit with him in my arms. But at least it’s getting easier.
“Is he your baby?” one of Marcus’s girls comes up to ask me.
“Sam, Sadie, why don’t you go see if Jamie is awake, okay? Let’s leave Bode alone right now.”
“Okay.” Their feet carry them toward the office as Harper drops down next to me.
“Is there anyone you want to call? Maybe they can come stay with you for a while?” Harper asks.
“Yeah,” I groan.
“That doesn’t sound like a good thing,” Dax tells me.
“Because she’s going to rip me a new one.” I adjust Caleb in my arms and fish my phone out of my pocket. “Text Gran for me and let her know what’s going on.”
