“You can like the goats. It’s okay if you do.”
I am one hundred percent the reason they don’t like goats, and while I shouldn’t be happy about it, I am.
Goats are the fucking worst.
“I do like goats,” Sadie confirms as she comes up, zipping her own jacket.
A cold spell has made its way through Nashville this week, making it chillier than normal. I’ve bundled the girls up in hopes they won’t get sick being outside today. The last thing I need is for them to be sick.
“Sadie, maybe you can take Sam to see the goats while I volunteer?” I ask her.
“What will you be doing?” Sam asks.
I shrug. “I don’t know, but one of the teachers asked me to volunteer. The guys are coming with me.”
That has both girls smiling.
“Uncle Noah will be there?” Sam asks. “Yes! Maybe he can take me to see the goats.”
I smile at them. “Who do you think is smellier—Uncle Noah or the goats?”
Sam giggles. “The goats.”
“Do you think they’re smellier than I am after hockey?”
“You are smelly,” Sadie tells me.
“Not as smelly as Uncle Noah, though.” I tickle her side.
“Are we able to play all the games too?” Sam asks. “I like the throwing games.”
“Can we win prizes?” Sadie asks me.
“Yes, there will be plenty of prizes to win.”
“Yes!” Sam pumps a fist. “We’ll win them all.”
“Make sure you leave some for others,” I tell them. They are nothing if not competitive, just like me. “Grab your hats and let’s get going.”
Both girls grab their sparkly gray hats and shove them on their heads. Haphazard pigtails stick out of each hat.
“I’ll win them for both of us,” Sadie tells Sam. “That way we can both play with them.”
Talk of goats, the carnival, and everything they can win carries us all the way to school. This is one of my favorite parts of being their dad. I’ve loved watching them come into their personalities and listening to them talk. It won’t always be like this, but I’ll take it while I can.
While the girls are excited for the carnival, I’m excited for my own reasons.
To see Harper again.
My wife.
Who would have thought that all these years later we’d be in each other’s lives again? Harper is so close, but just out of reach. I want her. I didn’t get her long enough the first time. Spending the briefest moments with her wasn’t enough. I don’t know if having her for my entire life wouldeverbe enough.
It feels like we might have a second chance. I don’t want to jinx it. In fact, I’ll do whatever it takes to help force a new connection. If Harper wants me to help at the school carnival, I’ll do it. If she wants me in a clown costume, I’ll pick out the best one to wear.
I won’t say no to anything she asks of me.
By the time we get to the school, it’s packed. It takes two laps of the parking lot before I find a spot and get the girls out. Streams of people head toward the big open fieldbehind the school. I find the guys waiting at the main entrance. Sam and Sadie spot them and go running, then get scooped up by Noah and Graham.
