“You know you can tell the guys about this, right?” Graham interrupts my wayward thoughts. “They’d want to know.”
I shake my head. “The more people that know, the likelier it is to get out. I don’t want the girls in the spotlight. I want them to have as normal of a childhood as possible.”
“Lots of the guys have kids. Don’t you want the help?” Noah asks.
“My mom helps. And I have a nanny that stays with them when I’m traveling. I’ve basically got it worked out.”
Noah slaps Graham on the arm. “How did you not know about this?”
“Ow.” He rubs the spot on his arm. “Why are you hitting me? It’s not my fault Marcus is a vault.”
I smirk at the two of them. They are so obnoxiously in love, it’s hard to stomach some days.
“Don’t blame him. I doubt I would have told him, even if he would have known to ask.”
Noah looks deep in thought as Graham sips his drink.
“Your rookie season,” Noah tells me. “You were off for ‘personal reasons.’ I don’t think anyone knew why, but I remember that. Because who takes off two weeks after they start?”
I nod. “The people on the team who needed to know knew. They gave me the time I needed and let me get home to be with the girls after daycare.”
It’s why when I signed my latest contract I opted for ano-trade clause. With so much change in their young lives, the last thing I needed was to be uprooted to a new city. Not like I’m going to be traded anytime soon since I’m the captain, but in this game, you never know.
“Damn.” Graham whistles. “You know we’re here for you, right? I mean, Noah is like an overgrown child most days, but if you need help, we’re here.”
“I am not.” Noah flips him the bird. “I don’t know why I love you so much.”
I laugh at their antics. “I appreciate it. But don’t go telling the others. I don’t want anyone to go blabbing about this to the press.”
Graham mimes zipping his lips. “Your secret is safe with us. Just know we’re here for you.”
“Thanks, Flounder.”
“Wait. But you said you’re not actually divorced. What is actually going on?” Noah asks. “Are you married?”
I waggle my head back and forth. “I have no clue to be honest. According to Harper, we’re married. Something her realtor mentioned caused her to do some digging and she figured it out. But now we have to deal with that.”
“So you might be married or you might be divorced?” Graham is fighting a smile. “I know you’ve been through a lot, but man, when you drop a bomb, it explodes.”
“And you wonder why I kept it to myself.”
“Does Harper know about why you left?” Graham asks.
“She doesn’t.”
“Damn, Cap. Have you ever thought about telling her?” Noah asks.
“I’ve never really had the chance before now.”
“Do you think you’d feel better if you told her?” Graham asks, flagging Chad down to order another beer.
The sun is sitting lower in the sky and voices chatter onaround us, making it feel claustrophobic. Like airing my personal grief will escape through the relative privacy of the booth into the wrong ears.
Would I feel better? Is that selfish?
“Maybe this is your chance,” Noah tells me, pulling me from the fog closing in around me. “Clear the air between the two of you?”
I shrug. I’ve never thought about it. It seems so far in the past that what good will it do now?
