Grabbing some body wash for lube, I take myself in hand and slowly start to jack myself. It’s immediate relief.
Picturing someone—anyone but Noah—on their knees for me. Another warm mouth. Another hand playing with my balls just how I like. Another set of eyes staring up at me.
That’s it.
Nice and slow.
Just how I like. Driving me wild with that tongue of theirs. But right before I come, it’s Noah.
Noah’s mouth.
Noah’s hand.
Noah’s eyes encouraging me to come down his throat.
“Fuck!” I shout, painting my release on the shower wall.
Guilt hangs heavy over me as I make quick work of cleaning up my mess and shutting off the water.
Drying myself off, I wipe off the mirror and study myself.
This has never been me. I’ve never felt bad about getting off before. Now I’m feeling pretty terrible because I have no idea what I’m doing.
What this means.
I’ve never been attracted to a man before. Having these feelings swirling around inside my head has to mean something.
What, I don’t know.
Tossing the towel into the laundry bin with the rest of the evidence of this weird night, I head back into my room to try and sleep.
Except sleep is elusive. I toss and turn all night trying to shut off my overactive brain. What I’m feeling for him isn’t real. It’s just a reaction to seeing the bartender hit on him the other night. That has to be the only logical explanation for this.
It’s an endless cycle of trying to forget about Noah, then thinking too much about him, and then trying to forget again.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
By the time six o’clock rolls around, I give up and grab some clothes to go for a run. Maybe I can sweat out the new feelings I’m having.
After lacing up my tennis shoes, I head to the kitchen and come to an abrupt halt.
Noah.
Standing shirtless in the kitchen drinking a glass of OJ.
Fuck. Me.
As if things weren’t hard enough as it is, there he is. Half-naked. Not knowing the havoc he’s wreaking on my emotions.
“Hey.” His husky voice, heavy with sleep, startles me.
“Uh. Hi.”
“Sorry, did I wake you up?” he asks. “I couldn’t sleep.”
Fuck. I hope I didn’t wake him up with the sound of me coming. To thoughts of him.
“No. Couldn’t sleep either. Figured I might as well go for a run.”
