“Because why, Brooks?” Charlie crosses his arms in defense.
“Fuck.” I scrub a hand down my face. This isn’t how I planned on this night going. On feeling new and different things for Charlie.
My Charlie.
How can watching him dance with one person elicit all these new emotions? Have they always been there, but I never actually let myself feel them?
I need time to think. Time to clear my head to figure outwhat all this means. Maybe that’s what Charlie has been doing all week.
“Hey.” Charlie’s voice brings me out of my thoughts. “I’m allowed to dance with people, Brooks. So why are you being weird?”
“Me?” I scoff. “You’ve been avoiding me all week. So who’s the one being weird, Charlie?”
“Excuse me for not knowing how to be around you after you learned the truth.”
“So ignoring me is the better option?” I ask him.
“Okay, fine. What do you want to know, Brooks?”
Someone bumps into me and it’s then I realize we’re having this conversation in the middle of the sidewalk with people still out to hear this.
Fuck.
“Do you want to know that I’ve been in love with you since I realized I was gay? How hard it was to have to hide that all this time because I knew you were straight, only to realize the other night that might not be entirely true?”
“Charlie—”
He doesn’t stop. Doesn’t take a breath.
“I’ve buried my feelings for you for years and I was fine with it. Because you were my best friend and I’d rather have you as my friend than not have you at all. But to realize that you might not be straight but that you just aren’t into me? It’s something I’m trying to come to terms with. It feels like my heart is shattered all over the floor.”
The lights play in Charlie’s eyes. A Christmas tune is coming from somewhere behind us. My eyes focus on the scar that Charlie got over his lip when he was playing soccer in middle school and fell into the goalpost.
I take a step closer to him, not quite sure what I’m doing. All I know is all common sense has left my head. Because ever since I stepped foot into the Tinsel Tavern tonight, I’ve been off.
“Brooks.” Charlie’s voice has gone soft. It’s barely a whisper, but it has me closing the distance between the two of us.
The pain here is something I can’t take. I can’t take the thought of hurting my best friend. But with everything swirling in my head the last week, I act without thinking.
In for a penny, in for a pound, I guess.
I kiss him.
Chapter Ten
CHARLIE
AM I DOING IT WRONG?
Holy shit.
Brooks is kissing me.
Me.Charlie.
I’m stunned.
Brooks’s lips are warm and sweet, and when his hands cup my cheeks, it shocks me into moving.
