“Because I messed up.”
“How?” I shuffle over to the couch and drop down beside him, tucking my legs up under me.
“Bex, when I heard the news, I realized I dropped this team on you and then left.”
I suck in a deep breath, because…yeah. That’s exactly what he did. My dad has owned the Black Diamonds for longer than I can remember.
“I know you’ve been with the team in some capacity since you graduated from college, and I knew you were ready to handle it, but that doesn’t mean I made it easy on you.”
“It’s been hard,” I tell him the truth. “Some days I wonder why you chose me at all.”
“Oh, Bexley.” Dad wraps an arm around my shoulders and pulls me in close. “There is no one that I have more faith in than you. This team means as much to you as it does to me. That’s why I knew you could do the job.”
“Really?”
I don’t look at him, because tears are already starting to gather in my eyes.
“Really. I didn’t do a good enough job of being there for you growing up. Of telling you how proud of you I was. After your mother died, it was easier to get lost in hockey. Hell, I had no idea how to handle a teenage girl dealing with her own grief while trying to manage my own.”
“I don’t think I would have let you help me. I was pretty hard to handle back then.”
Dad laughs, pressing a kiss to the crown of my head. “You were always so resilient back then, but now, you don’t need to be.”
“It’s the only way I know how to do this job.”
“And this is where I failed you. You can show the world who you really are, Bex.”
“Yeah?” I sneak a peek up at him. “And who is that?”
“You are strong-willed, have a heart of gold, and are one of the kindest, most genuine people I know. I’d hate to see you lose your heart because your head gets too caught up in how you have to be to do this job.”
That’s exactly what I’ve done. I’ve been training to do this job since I first stepped foot in this building. When I finally got the job, I saw the looks, heard the whispered comments that I only got it because of my last name.
I did everything I could to make myself look like I deserved this job. Getting too wrapped up in my head, especially now, I’ve lost sight of the big picture. Of what I really want.
I want this job. I love it. But I also want Nick. I’m letting everyone else under the sun determine my future. It shouldn’t be that way.
“I’m glad you came back, Dad. I really missed you.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t come back sooner.”
Leaning back, I look up at him. “When are you going back?”
“I’m going to stay for a little while. Jerry has his jersey number retirement ceremony coming up.”
I nod. “Why don’t you do it? I’m sure he would love that.”
Jerry was one of the greatest Colorado players of all time, and Dad played with him for a few seasons before he called it quits. He has more of an attachment to him, so it doesn’t bother me in the least to pass the torch to him.
“But I want you out there on the ice with me.”
“Okay, Dad.”
“Good. Now, why don’t you tell me about Nick?” He stands, walking over to the cabinet where I keep the liquor. The same one he had in his office before he gave it up.
“Dad! It’s not even noon. You can’t be drinking now.”
He shrugs a shoulder. “Eh, I’m on Spain time.”
