“I think I’d like to play you in hockey again.”
“Oh yeah?”
“I want to claim you forever.” Nick traces an X over my heart.
I guess X really does mark the spot.
Chapter Twenty-Three
NICK
The fire crackles. The candles lit on the table waft through the cabin, permeating it with a pine scent. With my head in Bex’s lap, this night is pretty damn perfect.
The way her fingers drift through my hair is lulling me to sleep. Snow has started to come down outside. It’s a bubble I don’t want to leave.
Everything about this weekend has been more than I ever expected it to be. I had no idea that when I started this thing with Bex that we would end up here. I’ve never felt more settled in my entire life. Being in the position I’m in, it always feels like I’m waiting for the next bad headline to hit. I don’t know if it’s because that’s how it was growing up, but whenever Dad’s team lost, people made sure I knew about it.
Bex makes it easy to drown out the outside noise. A bad game isn’t the end of the world. I know that I’m a good player and have what it takes to help take my team to the next level. I guess all it took was for Bex to help me understand that.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve been up here.” Bex looks around, as if taking the cabin in for the first time. “Sometimes being here is too hard.”
Grabbing her hand, I press a kiss to the center of her palm. “Is it because of your mom?”
She nods, looking down at me. A wistful look lingers on her face. “She loved it here. It was the place the two of us always came together. If Dad was traveling with the team, she’d bring me here for the weekend. We’d paint, go hiking, cook dinner together. It’s all the little things that add up that can sometimes cause me to suffocate.”
Sitting up, I pull Bex into my arms and kiss the top of her head. “Does it help to talk about her?”
“Sometimes.”
Rubbing a hand up and down her arm, I want to try and bring this woman comfort. I have no idea what it’s like to lose a parent, but I don’t know what I would do if anything happened to one of my dads. Even the thought is too much to bear.
“Tell me about her.”
“She’s where I get my love of gardening. Even if I’m not the best, she always said growing things ourselves was the best feeling. When I grew my first tomato with her, I think I cried when I ate it.”
I smile at her, imagining Bex doing just that. Under her tough exterior is the warmest, kindest woman I’ve ever met. As evidenced by her crying over something she grew.
“I don’t know how she got me to grow anything after that, but I loved being with her. Since Dad was always with the team, I was her shadow. Cooking with her was my favorite because she said we could always try whatever we wanted. We made some pretty crazy things.”
“Like what?” I whisper, keeping Bex close in my arms.
Bex’s laugh comes out watery. “I remember one time we made a marinara sauce that had grapefruit in it, because in my seven-year-old head, why can’t two fruits make a sauce?”
“Was it as terrible as it sounds?”
Bex sits up, shifting onto my lap. Tears linger in her eyes. “Disgusting. But Mom ate it like it was the best thing in the world.”
“She sounds like a great mom.”
“The best,” Bex tells me. “She would have loved you.”
“Yeah?” I ask, brushing the tear that slides down off her cheek.
Bex nods. “She died before I turned thirteen and I hated it. I never got to talk to her about all the things I really wanted to. Boys. Crushes. Which college to go to. My first love.”
My heart clangs around in my chest at the pain I feel for her. I wish I could take it away from her, but I know I can’t. That it will never go away.
But if there’s one thing I can do, I can be there for her during the hard parts. When it gets too overwhelming for her.
