Fucking faggot.
Ejected from the game.
God, if Carter could see me now…except, he doesn’t want to. And why would he want to see me like this?
This isn’t who I am. I don’t get tossed out of games. I don’t fight words with fists.
I don’t know who was on that field, but it definitely wasn’t me.
Shutting the water off, I wrap a towel around my waist and head back to the locker room. I waste no time in getting dressed and then stomping off to the coach’s office. I don’t want to be in there when the team comes back in.
The looks on their faces will be too much to bear.
“In all my years of coaching,”—Coach’svoice startles me from my slumped spot ina chair—“I have never seen anyone act like that on the field. Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t bench you for the season.”
Fuck. This is worse than I thought.
I give it to him straight. “He called me a faggot.”
His face hardens. It’s as if he’s aged ten years right in front of me. “That’s quite the accusation, Alex.”
I shake my head. “Not an accusation, coach. Called me a fairy and a faggot. And I know I should be the bigger person, but I snapped. Hollins is a dick, Coach. We all know it.”
“Dick or not, it doesn’t mean you can go around unleashing your feelings on the players of this league.”
“Right.”
“Is there any reason that you would take these words to heart?”
Coach doesn’t say anything else. He sits there with an assessing look in his eyes.
It sets my teeth on edge. It’s like he can see straight through me.
Does he know I’m gay?
Does he know I broke his son’s heart?
Sitting in front of this man, every reason I have for keeping my secret—my truth—to myself starts to whittle away.
What if I told him?
I study the man I’ve come to know in front of me. He’s never guided me wrong. He never wavers in the face of insurmountable odds.
So tell him.
Wiping my hands on my pants, the tight ball of emotion bursts out of me.
“I’m gay.”
“I see.”
“And who I love shouldn’t be an issue. But I’m notnaive enough to believe that there won’t be more people like Hollins in the league who won’t accept me for me. It doesn’t matter because what happened today was that Hollins was a dick and his behavior shouldn’t be tolerated.”
“But your reaction to him wasn’t appropriate either.”
I stand, pacing the small room. It’s only now that I hear the guys in the locker room. Instead of the boisterous tone of a win, it’s somber. “We lost, didn’t we?”
He nods his head. “Hard to come back when we lose our starting quarterback.”
